Monday, December 28, 2009

The weekend was good and so was Christmas. We all went to Christmas Eve mass and then to mom and dads to eat. I probably ate too much. But I did resist the Oreo cheesecake! Now that was a sacrifice!
I ran out the next day to buy some wrapping paper. We usually have to go every 2 years. Not bad. We also celebrated Connor James first birthday. He will officially be 1 tomorrow and Dennis will officially be 44! Sorry honey!
So today Claire has been coughing up phlegm. God love her. She gets so upset! I can relate! I am on a cleansing diet in prep for my hernia repair surgery tomorrow. I am only on a liquid diet and am starving of course! I also have no energy! Hopefully tomorrow afternoon I will be able to eat something. If I can, I am sure it won't be hospital food! Please keep me in your prayers. I am hoping this surgery will have no complications like the last!
I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays and are able to spend some time with their loved ones!
Blessings to everyone~!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

It was a long last week, but we made it through. Thursday I saw Dr Le and we talked about my upcoming surgery. He told me I will be in the hospital a day or two. Because of the size of my hernia and the fact that I am just now getting my physical strength back, he feels I need to spend the night. I teased him and told him I would play with the nurses regarding my food again. He never pushed me to eat and he understood why I wasn't eating when I was in the hospital. Hopefully this time they won't keep track of my calories!
Claire's preschool class celebrated Claire's birthday Friday. I brought in cupcakes for the class. It was so cute to see her walking in and putting her coat and hat up and going about her business. She seems so grown up when she is there. The speech therapist came up to me and told me she is becoming more verbal all the time and just really wants to talk. We have noticed that at home as well. She does try and repeat words. She is just too cute!
Last night we had our support group Christmas party. There was a new family there. Their daughter was 5 months old. They adopted her when she was 3 hours old!!! She is precious and just adorable! We love having a baby in the group. It has been 2 1/2 years since we have had a baby!
Today we had a birthday party for Claire. We gave her a cupcake to blow her candle out on. She tends to spit when she blows, so we didn't want to gross everyone out! Especially me! I was good though and actually didn't eat any cake. I think I am slowly gaining more weight and it has got to stop! Ha! I know I will feel better after my "baby hernia" is gone.
Looking forward to meeting some girls from the class of '82 tomorrow night. They met over Thanksgiving and I missed it, this time I am going and it should be fun.
Blessings on your week.

Monday, December 14, 2009

It certainly has been a trying year. I spent some time last night looking back on my blog and it's post. What a year! Today I saw Dr Olivaris about my scan last week and everything looks good. She told me I was in remission. I was alittle unsure about asking her about the whole remission thing, but she told me I was in remission. I go back every 3 months for blood work and to see her. I will have scans every 6 months. We agreed I need to keep my port in for at least a year. I think after seeing my purple arm from last week, she knew it was not time to take the port out.

I am so thank ful to everyone for the support they have provided my family this year. Thank you for the food, the cards and most of all your prayers. All I need to do is to get through this hernia surgery and I am sure I will feel like a new person. I am so ready to exercise and feel good again. I know that eating right and exercise will be a huge part of my recovery. It is funny, we went out to eat Friday night. I was trying to decide what to order, and then I looked across the table to Claire and Dennis and knew I had to make the better food choice. I know I need to eat healthy in order to be around for my family in the future.

Claire's glasses are in and we need to make plans to go up to Riley and get her fitted for them this week. Dr Le Thursday, Christmas party on Saturday night and then Claire's birthday party on Sunday.

Blessings!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

It's only Tuesday and the week has already been a hectic one! Monday morning I woke up starving! Only because I was having my scan that morning and could not eat. Any other morning Iwould not wake up that hungry! I love the fact that my oncologist will have my scan results tomorrow, and I don't see her until Monday! I would hate to have to pay her for a visit! The least she could do is call with the results! I am a wreck waiting. Everything I try to eat tastes like crap! I cant sleep! And when I can, it is not the most convenient time with a 4 year old. I know it is out of my hands, but it still does not stop me from worrying.

Took Claire to see Dr Towriss yesterday. her ear is cleared up, but she is still congested. He gave us something like a robitussin to give to her. Today we took her to Riley for her eye exam. It was a long day. They had to dilate her eyes this visit, so we end up waiting 30 more minutes while the drops do their thing. I had a feeling this was going to be the visit that he recommended glasses. It was! He did say to try her as much as we can. Don't get discouraged he said. So, we got to pick out a cute little pink pair. She wasn't so hip on wearing them then, but they did not have lenses in them to help her see more clearly either. We go back next week to pick them up and to have them fit.

On a positive note, Claire is doing well with her potty training. Once a day she will do something in her little potty. She is at the point where she is telling us after she goes, and this is OK too.

Next week I have my appt with Dr O, and then Thursday I see Dr Le. Maybe the next week will be clear of appointments and I can try to enjoy the holiday season!


Blessings on your week!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I hope your weekend is going well. Claire decided to get up a couple times last night. Dennis got up with her then. Then she decided to get up at 6 this morning and not go back to bed! I can see alot of coffee in my future this morning! Going to meet the caseworker girls at Cracker Barrel for breakfast. It is always so nice to see everyone and to catch up. Plus eat yummy food!



I went and had blood work done yesterday. The nurse I saw is not the nurse that does my blood work usually. She had a hard time accessing my port and it is a bit sore today. She gave me my yummy contrast to start drinking for my scan on Monday. It was nice I didn't have to make an additional trip to the hospital.



This week has been one full of good things. The best thing was Claire is beginning to potty train. Her teacher at school decided it was time and I agreed. She went to potty at school one day. And then yesterday she pooped in the potty here. She certainly is not afraid of it. This morning she told me she needed to go potty. we went in there and she tried. Of course as soon as she stood up as I was going to get a diaper, she peed near the toilet, but not on it! That is OK. at least it was in the bathroom!! Easier to clean up! I know this will just take time and patience. We went out to eat last night and Claire ate like such a big girl! It was so cute, we were eating chips and salsa and she had to dip her chip in the salsa too! I got teary eyed just watching how far she has come. Believe me, for her to eat on her own is a big deal.



Hoping to get alot of Christmas shopping done this week and hopefully be done with most of it! Doing alot of my baking next Sunday, so that will be done.



Enjoy your week and its many blessings!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

We made it home from our week long journey up north. It was so good to spend time with family and friends. We actually only had rain showers one day. Not the U.P. I remember visiting this time of year!
It is good to be home! Dennis surprised me and had our carpet cleaned while we were gone. Believe me, this excited and thrilled me! The carpets look great too! It is just getting back into a routine again. Ugh! Reality! Ha!
We have a busy month with appointments and surgeries. I go get blood work done Friday and then Monday I have my CT scan. I don't see Dr O until the following Monday. This is going to drive me nuts! I may have my sister go with me to this visit because she is going to go over the CT scan results and I don't know if I want to be by myself! Beth did make me feel good though today. I had her check out an area around my collar bone. I thought it looked swollen. I was sure I was paranoid, but she just said it was my collar bone sticking out. One side is larger than the other. She told Dennis that before her scan results and scans, she was always worried too.
Claire goes to Riley next Tuesday for her eye appt. I am pretty sure the Dr will try and get her into glasses. He told us a one point she would need them anyway.
Somewhere in between I go see Dr Le again and then have my surgery on the 29th. I am hoping I will be up to attending our first support group "meet and greet" that my sister and I are apart of starting here in town.
Did some Christmas/birthday shopping for Claire this weekend. Ok, well Mark my brother in law went and got a vanity for us for Claire. The deal was too good to pass up! I had to order her Bitty baby from American Doll online. Our friends from Chicago had the flu this weekend, so they didn't get the chance to get our doll for us. I love online shopping! ha!
Blessings on your week!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Today is Thanksgiving and I cannot even begin to count or name all the blessings I am thankful for. This is an emotional day as I am sure every year it will be that way.

I do have to admit that I had more than once questioned why I had gotten cancer. Anyone who has had it and been through treatment and has not questioned it, is a better human being than me. I was watching The Biggest Loser the other night. The program where they were going back and talking to former contestants. Then I had what they call an "aha" moment. I realized that God had given me cancer in order to realize that I need to be healthier and to take better care of myself. I lost 50 pounds during my illness. Now this is not the way I would wish for anyone to lose the weight, but I did. I now need to maintain my weight and a healthier lifestyle. I know I need to make better food choices in order to stay healthy. So I was given cancer which ironically in the end will make me healthier.

I hope everyone enjoys their day!
Blessings

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

My friend Robin reminds me when I need to update my blog! Thanks Robin!
This week we are in the U.P. of Michigan for Thanksgiving. It has been great seeing most of Dennis' family. His sister had to stay back in MO and work, but she is with us in spirit! We love and miss you Karen!
I haven't really been doing much lately. Trying to get my strength up and rest for my hernia repair surgery in December. Dr Le told me the other day that I would be down the month of February. I swear after that, the hurricane will be back! I am so ready to get things back to half way "normal." I want to be able to lift my baby when she needs me. Plus I am just sick of the hernia sticking out of my stomach! Doesn't do much for self image!
We stopped in Chicago on the way up here and stayed with some friends. We had some yummy Chicago style deep dish pizza. It was soooo good! We are probably stopping back through Saturday to spend that night. That only gives us 4 hours to travel then on Sunday. Nice to have such good friends! Thanks Ann and Jill!
I am getting anxious to get this scan done. Dennis had to remind me that things would be fine and that they wouldn't have stopped treatment if they thought things weren't better. Guess we will see! Please keep me in your prayers that things are well!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I cannot tell you how many blessings we have to be thankful for. This year is extra special.
Enjoy the day and the blessings it brings!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Hi Cynthia!!( I know you are reading this!)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I hope everyone is enjoying the weather. It makes me long for spring again! I just wish I could start alot of my year over. I cannot wait for next summer already! I know I will be able to get out and play with Claire. We will be able to get a sandbox, swing set, all kinds of lawn ornaments! Ha! No, I doubt that happens. But it will be nice to be able to play outside with her.
Please pray for a family I know. She is 7 months pregnant and they just found out their little girl will have Down syndrome. This isn't the biggest issue. She has heart issues. So she will need surgery immediately I am sure after she is born. 50% of kiddos born with Ds have heart issues. There is really so much the medical community can do now days it is miraculous really. I guess my cousin (who is 41) was born with heart issues, but back then there wasn't alot they could do, or knew what to do. He is fine, but has had alot of issues to deal with regarding his heart. This family is awesome! I don't know the father, but I know the mother and she is the most awesome woman I know. And I don't think it is the Ds thing that bothers them, though they know there will be challenges involved with raising their special needs child, it is the unknown heart issues.
Also please pray for another woman in town that has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She began her chemo treatments yesterday. I sure hope they went well.
Looking forward to going out shopping Saturday. I am sure I will be resting every now and then. I need new clothes badly. But I am too cheap to buy too many clothes! I have gained 6 pounds and want to get those bad boys off! Ha!
Claire continues to amaze us daily. Today she was into calling me "mom!" I guess "Mary" will be next! Ha! She is too young to start that! ha!
Enjoy the rest of the week!
Blessings!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Our weekend was good. We really did not do a whole lot. Saturday we went trick or treating. Claire dressed up as a 50's/60's girl. She was so cute!
I am having a hard time dealing with my time before I get my scan in December. I don't know why I am so nervous! I guess I have no proof that I am in "remission." I try not to dwell on this, but sometimes it is hard not to. I am having a hard time dealing with the post treatment stuff sometimes. Once again it is a control issue. I know I can't live my life worrying all the time.
I also need to start watching my weight closely. I am 6 pounds over what I want to be. I told my friend that Dennis buys all the good candy. I walk past it and pop a "fun size" piece of candy in my mouth. What the hell is so fun about that? Ha! Especially when I get on the scales.
Looks like it is going to be a cool, but sunny week.
Blessing and peace!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I just posted an article that my sister read in Redbook. She read the article and thought of me. I read it and just cried! It was so me. There were a few differences, but I sure could relate to the article and what she went through. Enjoy!
Blessings!

Cancer Crisis: Surviving Lymphoma at 24

Cancer Crisis: Surviving Lymphoma at 24

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Our weekend was good. Saturday I met some friends at Batar for lunch. I worked with them when I was a caseworker for the state. Some of them still do casework. God bless them! ha!
Dennis and I ran up to Columbus Saturday evening to get Claire a Halloween costume. We went to WM the night before and had found one, but we were not that happy with it. We like the one from Target best.
Sunday was the usual church and then home for naps. Pretty much in that order once again.
Friday I went up to the hospital for a bit while my sister Beth Anne had bunion surgery. She went to Dr Warren today and got a boot to wear. They said she is healing really well and were very happy with that. Let's see if she can just stay off her foot for another week and a half. Please keep her in your prayers for a safe healing.
Also please keep the Regina Maschino family in your prayers. Regina lost her battle with cancer Saturday. We used to attend church with them at St Joes. Very nice family. I just get so worked up anytime someone dies of cancer. Especially when I know them. It just breaks my heart. It also makes me feel so guilty. Why do they have to die and I am alive. Sometimes it is hard to deal with. The not understanding of it all.
Looking forward to a week with no appointments at all!
Blessings!

Friday, October 23, 2009

I hope everyone has had a good week. I am just glad it is Friday. Been a little weepy this week. For one it is still really hard for me not to be able to pick Claire up. I feel I can't take her anywhere like the park or playground. If she was to get hurt, I couldn't pick her up. So I am about over this hernia. I guess I am a worry wart too. I know that Dr O told me back in May my nodes were shrunk back to what they call "normal " size, but I am really nervous anticipating this scan in December. I am also leery of getting my port out so soon. I am sure once I get the results of the scan and know that things are OK, I will be more comfortable getting the port out.
I posted on FB that I didn't care for the phrase," God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle." I feel he gives us more than we can handle so that it pushes us to be better servants, and in the end receive unexpected blessings. I got alot of private emails about this. All good. It is interesting peoples opinion about this phrase. Do I think my cancer was an unexpected blessing. The cancer itself, NO. The many blessings I have received because of the cancer, YES. I have met so many amazing people and have gained so many new friends from this. Even people in stores have stopped me and have talked to me about their journeys. This is what amazes me the most. They must look at my fabulous hair style and know I have battled cancer! ha!
I guess I am so anxious to start exercising and getting into great shape. I am ready to get on with my life. I feel this hernia is holding me back somewhat. I can walk, but I want to Zumba! Ha!
I want to thank everyone for their prayers for my sister Beth. She had bunion surgery today. All went well. She still needs prayers as she recovers.
Looking forward to lunch at Batar tomorrow with my old caseworker friends. And let me tell you, they are OLD! Ha! I should say caseworkers that I used to work with! There! Sorry Becky and Linda, since I know you read this!
Blessings!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Our weekend was good. Beth Anne and I had a successful trip to Columbus Friday afternoon/night. Bought a few new clothes. Thank you Katie for watching Claire Bear.
Saturday was nice. Dennis and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary by going to Madison. We had dinner at the Key West Shrimp House. It was very good. Thank you Beth Anne for watching our Active Ms Claire!
Sunday was church, breakfast, and naps in that order. Dennis was sweet and made a delicious dinner. He made stuffed pork chops with "real" mashed potatoes, corn, and shrimp cocktail. Very good. I said I knew there was a reason I married him! I have been so blessed to have him. With all I have put him through this year, he decided to stick with me! Ha!
Today I had an appt with Dr O my oncologist. I have a CT scan in December to see where things stand. She is talking about having Dr Le take out my port while he is repairing my hernia. She agreed that the longer I wait to have my hernia repaired the better. She said I probably don't realize how hard this year has been on me physically. She is probably right. Though some days I would have to agree that it has taken its toll. She was happy my weight was up a bit. I don't get it. Here is a lady who maybe weighs 100 pounds soaking wet, and she is worried about my weight. I am eating. I really am! Yesterday at breakfast I had a ham,cheese, and mushroom omelet along with 2 pieces of toast and 4 pieces of bacon! I was a piggy! And I am (usually) watching what I eat. Oh well. I understand with my rapid weight loss the concern I guess.
Looks to be a decent week.
Blessings and enjoy!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Our weekend was good. Friday of course was rainy, but I don't mind the rain most days. Saturday we spent the day at Hubers Orchard and Winery. The Schultz family, Katie and Brett, my mom, and Mark's mom Gloria came along. We had a great time and the weather was absolutely wonderful! The pumpkin patch was a bit muddy, but that is OK.
Sunday we had church and then out to lunch afterwards. Then home for naps!
Father Scott in on a retreat so we have a visiting priest. He gave such a good sermon today. He was saying how hard it is in this world to not own things and want to own things. As long as they don't own us. As long as the material things don't possess us. I was thinking about my cancer. I was thinking about how I have never wanted it to own me. I always wanted control of it. But to be honest, I don't know if that is possible. "They" say that a large percentage of your recovery is attitude. Is this really true? If that was really true, don't you think that there would be more people in remission and not dying of cancer? Sometimes you just have to accept God's will. And that is not always our will. I still think often that my cancer will return and that is what scares me the most. I think the further I get into remission, I am hoping this fear goes away.
Time magazine did an article on faith and healing. I think it was done this year. I did not get a chance to read it, but thought it would be interesting to read.
Tomorrow Beth Anne is going with me to take Claire to a follow up ENT appt at Riley. I really do like Riley, I just get tired of having to drive up there. She is due for an eye appt and a Developmental Pediatric DR visit too. Guess I may as well make those while I am there tomorrow. There is an eye Dr in Columbus that would see her, but he is not covered by our insurance. So that blows that!
Week looks good, but cooler. Tomorrow night I am meeting some friends at Tumbleweeds for a post chemo dinner.
Blessings on your week!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Weekend was fabulous. Started out Thursday having a parent/teacher conference at Jackson for Claire. A few weeks ago she got put in time out at school. Angie her teacher was saying how hard it was to put her in time out. But she wasn't working like she was suppose to. Angie said she worked hard once she got out. I had to put her in time out the other day and she was none too happy with mommy. Oh well. Won't be the first and won't be the last time that is for sure. Anyway, they are very happy with her progress at school. Working on counting to ten. They are only suppose to work up to number 3, but since she is doing so well they are going farther. We are very blessed to have such a cognitive daughter. She is kinda cute too! Ha!
We went down to the Oktoberfest for lunch that day. Met up with parents and my aunt Rita who is town for a month. Always good to see her. I don't think my body has had so much grease in it for a long time. My appetite was back with a vengeance too. What a weekend for that! By Saturday I was over all of the food.
Friday night we went and listened to my brother Mike and the This Old Guitar band. It was inside the store so it was nice and warm! Good time had by all.
Like I said, by Saturday we were over the Oktoberfest. We decided to have lunch at Larrisons. Dennis and I weren't that hungry. We had attended the pancake breakfast for Reins to Recovery at Applebees that morning. Saturday we walked in the parade for RTR. Claire got to ride Ginger from Koveners to the library. They had 5 kiddos they had to switch on and off. Of course Claire hammed it up and was waving to everyone.
Sunday was a day of relaxation. We went to church and then out to eat, then home for naps. Dennis put the flannel sheets on the bed the other night and it makes it hard to get out in the mornings when it has been chilly.
Saturday we are planning on going to Hubers. We always go and get our pumpkins there.
Enjoy your week.
Blessings!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Enjoying the weather and thinking about our neighbor Barb. She just had a mascetomy. Last time we spoke she was going to try and have a double one. They weren't sure if Medicare would pay for both. She thought if they could prove that breast cancer ran in the family, (her daughter had it 10 years ago) they would. I don't want to go visit or bother her right now because I know she needs the rest. Maybe this weekend I will drop something off for them. It just really upsets me that she has to go through all of this. And I know I can't save the world from cancer, but having gone through it all, it is just upsetting. I remember sitting with my sister in law Beth in our living room. I started crying and just kept saying, " I am scared. I am so scared." Boy did I have good reason to be! Ha!
Cancer has changed me for the rest of my life. Mostly good, some probably bad. I think I am alittle more cynical than I used to be. I question anything a doctor tells me to be on the safe side.
It is funny how so many people remember their diagnosis date. It took then so long to diagnose me that all I know is the surgeon called and Claire and I were home alone. I do know I began chemo on Feb. 25th and ended on Aug. 31st.
It used to drive me absolutely nuts when people told me I was brave. Now, being done with chemo and looking back. I was brave. We are all brave that are battling this horrible disease.
Enjoy the week and don't eat too many apple dumplings! yum!
Blessings!

Monday, September 28, 2009

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. We had a good weekend away. We got to the hotel alittle later than we wanted to, but that was OK. We weren't really in any hurry to get there. The rest of the group was heading out to dinner when we got there. We decided to just stay there and eat in the hotel restaurant.
Saturday a.m. I got up and ventured out. I found a Marshall's dept store. I was in heaven. The best part of it, I could get into a size 10! I tried to go back and rest, but didn't nap for long. I had rented some DVD's to watch. I tried to watch "he's just not that into you." I thought it was boring, so I put in "confessions of a shop-a-holic." Now that was a good movie! Saturday night we had planned to go to Carlucci's. It is one of my favorite Italian restaurants. But they were closed for a private party. I chose another restaurant and it was not very good. One woman we were with could not even eat her dinner. She thought her ravioli was spoiled. We decided not to call this my birthday dinner! Sunday on the way home we did meet some friends for brunch. It was so good. We sat for over 2 hours chatting. They offered to have us stay with them anytime we want to come up and go shopping, etc... They are both from Chicago and know their way around town. Thinking may have to plan a holiday shopping weekend.
Looking forward to Oktoberfest this weekend. Everyone enjoy their week!
Blessings!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Today is my birthday and definitely a day of reflection. But I am going to rest! I have been sick the last few days. I am having sinus and allergies issues. Claire is at mom and dads today so that I can get in a good day of rest. Thank you mom and dad.
I feel like Charlie Brown. I think if I could catch a break I wouldn't know what to do. I am so used to things not going my way, that I have just gotten used to this! Ha!
Thank you to everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes. I truly love you all and appreciate all of you.
Blessings!

Monday, September 21, 2009

The weekend was good. Saturday we went to the International Dinner at St Ambrose. There was so much food and I left there stuffed! My favorite, believe it or not, was the egg rolls and fried rice our Vietnamese friends made. When they first came to the United States, we spent alot of time with them. Grandma used to make the best garlic chicken! The fried rice was good because it was not greasy like you get in the restaurant.
Sunday Dennis stayed home with Claire. She hadn't been feeling the best and we thought it was best to keep her home. Sunday we had our family get together. Dennis and I wanted to thank the family for helping us so much this year. It was a good time despite the bad weather.
Today I took Claire to the doctors office. He said she has a lower respiratory infection. We have to give her an antibiotic, a decongestant and breathing treatments. He said to keep her home from school this week. Because of the Down syndrome, her immune system is compromised and her nasal passages are smaller, making it hard for her to breathe. She is a trooper though and is really her silly self. We slept in the recliner last night and this afternoon. We need to elevate her mattress for her.
Dennis let me open my birthday present early and it was a SNUGGIE! I love it! I used it last night and actually got too warm sleeping in the recliner!
I hope Claire feels better by the weekend. Dennis and I are going to Chicago for one of his board meetings. Claire is spending the weekend with Beth and Mark.
Blessings on your week!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I went yesterday to get my potassium levels checked and they were still pretty low. The nurse called today and I have to increase my one pill to two pills a day. I will then go back in two weeks and have it checked again. Ugh! But that is OK. I will do this.
I am feeling more energetic every day. Still really tired most of the time. I am slowly trying to get the house cleaned for Sunday. We are having family over to thank them for all their help during this journey. Will be good to get everyone together.
Can you believe that I am actually thinking about going to Wal-Mart tomorrow morning? Ugh! I have not been since April. Sure wish we had a Target in town.
Enjoy the rest of your week!
Blessings!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Wow! What a wonderful day to attend Trey Hohnstrieter's fundraiser. The weather was absolutely wonderful! Claire had a fun time too. Cousin Katie took her in the bouncey house and she loved it. We also knew that there would be pony rides, but much to our surprise, it was Ginger, the horse that Claire rides every week at Reins to Recovery. Calli the director and Judy's sister(the host) Pam ( who volunteers at R to R) was there. Needless to say, Claire rode Ginger several times! She never wanted to get off. She also has fun on this small plastic play station with a ladder and slide. She wasn't that keen on the slide, but had fun on the ladder going up and down. I commented to Dennis that we were going to have a back yard full play toys next summer weren't we.
It was just really a blessing to be surrounded by survivors too. My good friend Michelle was there. It was so good to talk to her about how she felt after chemo. I told her it is hard. I still don't have my energy and I feel lazy so often. But I have also learned what is most important too. This was a stretch for me. I was always up and going and doing something and kept my house tidy. Not so much anymore. I am sure it will come back though. Give me a good 6 months!
Please lift those up in prayers who are dealing with this horrible disease called cancer.
Blessings to everyone!

Friday, September 11, 2009

I had a great lunch with my friend Janet. We went out to Batar and they were open! I love their chicken salad/fruit plate. We both said we could have a banana anytime we want, but cut up on a plate just tastes so good! I told Janet I used to be able to eat the whole plate. I did eat my chicken salad, crackers, banana, and most of my apple. I don't really care for their pasta salad. I should just order it without it next time. I hate to see it wasted.

We have a busy weekend. Tomorrow we have a fundraiser for Trey Hohnstrieter. There is a woman in town running a marathon in honor of him for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. It is a hog roast. There are going to be things for the kids and pony rides. Do you think Claire will squall when she sees the ponies! Oh ya! She loves riding her horses.

Sunday we have a birthday open house and then possibly going to the fish fry out at Trinity Lutheran in Vallonia. Mike and the T.O.G. band are playing. We went out there last year and it is really nice. Not sure about the fried fish. I am just not into fried seafood. I love it grilled, but not fried. It is just too greasy most the time.

Well, I found out last week that Claire is not receiving her physical therapy like it is written in her IEP. She is suppose to receive it 2x a week and is only getting it 1x. I am going to write a letter to the director of Special Ed and voice my concern. I am also sending a communications notebook to school with Claire. This way the therapist can document when and what they have done with Claire. This will also better help us know what to help Claire with at home.

Enjoy the weekend!

Blessings to all of you!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I had my follow up visit with Dr Le. What would have been my last visit more than likely has turned into a second step process. I do indeed have a hernia. It is nothing to be concerned about. He does not want to go in right now until I am feeling physically stronger and fix it. He did say it is something he feels he can do lapriscopically. I told him of my fear of going under again and he totally understood. I have an appt with him near the end of November. I am hoping by December I feel up to having it done. I was reminded again that between my chemotherapy and my surgery, it could be months before I feel more energetic. This is disheartening to me because it has been a looooonnnnnggggg year! I am ready to get back into the swing of things! Apparently because in the hospital I was considered malnutritioned. Can you believe they used that word for me! I will never hear that again until I am 90 I am sure. Plus I was fighting an infection, my healing process was not the norm, thus, "hello hernia!"
I did talk to Dr Towriss' nurse about my Lexapro I was on. It is expensive even with our insurance and I told her I had quit taking it. She came out with 2 months worth of samples. God love her! Thank you Melanie! Maybe now I won't be as emotional with everything! Ya right!
I hope everyone has a good week.
Blessings!

Friday, September 4, 2009

The last couple of days have been uneventful. Tonight I was able to cut my potassium pill in half and take it. We will see if my stomach tolerates it or not.
I was able to eat almost an entire 7 oz steak, some mashed potatoes, and some squash. See, this is where trouble comes in. Once I start to really get my appetite back, I need to watch what I eat. I don't want to beg my friends to give me my clothes back! ha! Indian giver!
Well, I got upsetting news tonight. Dennis came in and told me that our neighbor was just DX with breast cancer. I started crying of course because I cannot stand for anyone to have to go through what I did. And even though every one's journey is different, cancer still sucks and cancer still messes with you emotionally and psychically. No doubt about it. This disease just really pisses me off. So please lift up a prayer for her. She went through all this when her daughter had breast cancer 10 years ago. And she is a survivor. But as we all know, one can have the same cancer and have different treatment plans...ya Beth Anne! Ha!
Enjoy the weekend!
Blessings

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Having a really down day. I have decided that there is more emotional crap to deal with after chemo then during chemo. I would say I just want my life back to how it was before all of this happened, but I know that is not possible. I will never be the same.
Dr Towriss' office called and are concerned about my potassium levels. Very low. I told the nurse that I tried the pills and the liquid and both upset my stomach. I had to call the cancer center to let them know that Dr T wanted to make sure this was being managed somehow and checked. I told Lyndie and Melanie both that now that chemo is over with, I will try to take the pills. My Rx is for 2x a day, but Melanie said Dr T was going easy on me and letting me take it just 1x a day. I go back to the center in 2 weeks and they are going to take blood to check the levels.
I noticed this weekend when I was doing so much coughing that there is a little bulge in my belly...hmmm... Beth Anne and I figured out I probably have a hernia! Just what I need huh? I go in to Dr Le on Tuesday and I will show him. Can you believe it? When am I going to catch a break? I am terrified to go under anesthesia again. Look what happened last time? I don't want to wake up on a ventilator again!
This is one of those days that I question my reason for being here. What is my purpose? I feel like this year I have let my body down. How much more can it take? I guess I dig so deep I forget to look at Claire and know that she is the reason. I forget to look at Dennis and know that he is the reason. Not that they need me, but I know they want me in their lives and I want to be in their lives. I want to be present. I want to be able to go out into the sunshine without feeling so flushed all of the time. I want I want I want.... I want to not cry all of the time. I know that folks thought that since my last day of chemo was Monday that it was over, it has just begun.
Please lift up prayers for those that don't have the opportunity to blog and bitch about their lives like I am doing. Believe you me, I know how blessed I am to even be alive!
Please pray for Angie Robinson's family. Please pray for my friend Mick who is at home just trying to stay comfortable. Thank you for these prayers.
Blessings.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I just wanted everyone to continue reading my blog. I am sure I will be posting at least once a week. Or I will try to. This journey is not over, it has just begun!

Monday, August 31, 2009

A shout out to Kelly Stephens for coming by and saying hi and helping me carry all my goodies to the car. You are a sweet, sweet woman!
I am sitting in the chemo lounge receiving my last treatment. I arrived to my sister bringing me flowers and a card! I had baked cookies in the shape of ribbons and Beth Anne tinted the frosting lime green. And then, Jan's sister Robin brought in a ribbon shaped cake and balloons! What a nice surprise! Thank you Jan and Robin.I think the nurses like it too! It really is bittersweet with alot of emotions. Happy that it is the last treatment. But I also know that it is still a long road ahead with port flushes every month, follow up visits every 3-4 months, and scans every 6 months. But I am ready to get these toxins out of my body!!

The weekend was OK. Friday I had lunch with my friends Becky and Linda. We started out at Batar, but they were closed for vacation. Drats too! I had my heart set on the chicken salad plate. So we went ahead and had lunch at the Kensignton Tea Room. Always good food there. Thank you ladies for the cards, the gifts and the blessing of friendship.

Friday night we all started to feel a little yucky. Sinus's and allergies got the best of us. Saturday we did very little. We wanted to attend Central Christians One Night One Light concert, but figured with allergies and it being outside, not the best thing to do.

Sunday I went to mass while Claire and Dennis stayed home. This was pretty much our weekend.

Not looking forward to the week, but at least I know this is my last week to hopefully feel this way.

Blessings to everyone!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Why do we have days where we feel sorry for ourselves? I know it is a waste of time and energy, but it just still happens. I guess we all do it. I am so tired of feeling ugly. I am sick of not having hair. During this entire journey, I haven't really cared much. My mantra was,"it is all about my health, not my hair." But now I am sick of not having hair. My hair has not fallen out, but I think it has stopped growing. I am not used to seeing myself 40 pounds lighter and I feel like I look sick. Not that I was happy 40 pounds heavier! I just feel like I look like a cancer patient...oh ya, I am! It is amazing the people that stop me and ask me if I have cancer. They usually have loved ones going through it or have gone through it. I can't blame them. After Claire was born, anytime I ran into parents with a child with Down syndrome, I would stop them and talk to them. Freaked a woman out one day in Target! Ooops! I think the parents of the older children appreciate it and always offer what they have experienced raising a special needs child.
Looking forward to a relaxing weekend. I have a funeral on Saturday. We are going to try and go to Central Christians One Night One Light concert. Looks like rain is possible, so we will see.
Lunch tomorrow with a couple of friends I use to do casework with at Batar. yum!
Blessings for a great weekend!

Monday, August 24, 2009

I found this poem on the interenet. Love it!
I was given a gift,wrapped shabbily, it was non-returnable,non-refundable!Reluctantly I accepted it.
In it I found courage I never knew existed and a patience far beyond anything ever experienced.I was given the ability to trust a stranger with that most dear to me, and an endurance for the unknown.I was given unconditional love of family and friends,always there, never stopping, never faltering.I was given many prayers from far and wide,and the warmth of knowing I am truly cared about.I was given a fond farewell of my modesty and vanity,and the acceptance and love of an imperfect body.I was given a strong shoulder to lean on when that shoulder had once grown distant,and laughter and good times, more special than ever before.I was given many new friends,wonderful, courageous women I am so very proud to know.I was given warm sunshine and beautiful green grass,blue skies, and sparkling city lights.I was given things to see,that once before were ignored.I was given the chance to wake up,instead of sleepwalking through life.I was given every glorious day to enjoy,every month to savor, every year to rejoice.I was given the gift of life,I was given lymphoma.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I just wanted to thank all of you again for all your support throughout this whole process. I don't think we say "thank you" enough. You have no idea how much a meal, a card, a pie :) has meant to us. Just a call(even though I HATE talking on the phone). I cannot emphasis enough how horrible this disease is and how if affects everyone involved. My family has been my biggest fans throughout all of this. And even though they tell me the time they spend with Claire has been my blessing to them because it is time they would have never spent with her, the guilt I feel sometimes is overwhelming. And of course the envy too. I am the one who should be caring for my daughter. I shouldn't need someone to help get her on and off of the bus. The flip side of that is once again, how would I do this journey without them? I remember watching a morning show. And I think it was Robin Roberts. She had breast cancer. And I remember her mom telling her, "Don't hog this journey." In other words, let people come along with you. Let them help you. You know me, I have always been forthright in every aspect of this disease. Today was a day I spent in bed. The reason I have had the strength to go to every chemo session and feel like crap for a week afterwards is because of my family. And to be honest, I don't know if I will ever get over the fear of my cancer coming back. Once you have it, the odds are not in your favor always. Especially with Lymphoma. It is the most curable and treatable cancer, yet it is the one that comes back too.
Oh, and a big thank you to the Sunburys. Thank you too Kathy for getting the new orthotics for Claire. I just have to light a fire under her now! No, seriously, I won't literally do that! Ha!
Sorry to post again in the same day. I just wanted to thank everyone again. I will never be able to say enough thank yous!
Peace!
The weekend was pretty uneventful. Friday my sister and I ran to Columbus. I was hoping Hobby Lobby had ribbon cookie cutters, but they didn't. I ended up ordering one online. Gotta love the Internet! I find I still don't do well in crowds. I guess it is because I never know when I am going to get sick. Always have to be aware of where the restrooms are. This just makes for an uncomfortable situation. It really is sad because it makes me have no desire to really leave the house.
I know I sound like a broken record, but I am so ready for all of this to be over with. At least this week was not as bad as I had before. It just wears me out and I sleep alot.
Hoping this week is better.
Blessings on your week.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Another crappy week....where has the week gone? I spend my "crappy" weeks in bed so much that I totally lose track of the days and time. I have to say I have had alittle bit more energy this week it seems like than in the past. I try to be able to spend some time with Claire and Dennis even on my crappy weeks. Even knowing I have one more treatment left, it does not make these weeks any easier. In fact, I don't think what Dr O told me Monday has even sunk in. I think once I know I don't have to have anymore treatments it will hit me. The thing is, I am still going to be going into the Cancer center once a month to have my port flushed. I asked the nurse the other day if they prefer cakes, cookies, or fruit tray. Here I was going to be healthy and bring in a fruit tray my last treatment. I was told cookies. I decided to get a ribbon cookie cutter and make my famous rolled out sugar cookies with that. I will frost them in lime green the awareness color for lymphoma.
Beth, my sister, meets with a rep from the Leukemia/Lymphoma society tomorrow. We are starting a support group here in Seymour. So if you know anyone who has been affected in any way by either one of these diseases, please have them contact me. We would love for them to join us. We are not sure when we are starting the group. We need to get specifics, etc...from the society. But we will be meeting in the Cancer center once a month.
Blessings on your week!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Good Morning and greetings from the chemo lounge.

Last week was not too bad. I seemed to have alittle more energy than I have had in the past. Every week I am blessed and amazed at the number of cards and gifts I receive. Especially from people that don't even know me. I received a prayer shawl from Pastor Aaron's mom. It is the most beautiful thing. Thank you Pastors mom!

Saturday I spent the day with some girlfriends and went to Stream Cliff for lunch. It is always good to get out and spend time with friends. Thank you Janet and Sharon. Sunday we went over to Bloomington to spend time with my brother and his family. It was good seeing my niece who was in from Texas.

Now for the good news! I found out today that I only have one more treatment left! Yeah! Happy dance, happy dance! I forgot that (with the agreement and consultation of Dr Robertson in Indy) we skipped a treatment when I came back because I had gotten so sick. Then, DR O told me that back in May she thought my nodes has shrunken to where they should have been. I told her I thought they had just shrunken, so she called the radiologist. They had shrunken to "normal" size back in May!!!! I gave her a hard time going through all I had to go through. So I am so excited! Even though I know that this will be a bad week, I know it will be over with soon.
Blessings on your week!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Today we didn't do a whole lot. I woke up feeling OK, and went down hill the rest of the day. The only way to describe it is like having the flu. I haven't been queasy all weekend so that is good. I even made a pretty good dent in my omelet this morning along with toast.

I am just so emotional all the time. It doesn't even have to be "that time of the month." I could probably use a little more "hard hearted Hannah" in me. I got emotional thinking that Claire starts back to school and I hardly had a summer with her. I can go a week and not be able to take care of her! This kills me! I was reminded last weekend that Dr O did tell me the more chemo I get, the more tired I will get and worn down. I tend to forget this. I guess it is always something!

I am anxious to get feeling better and get into things in the community. Of course the Relay for Life will be something I do. I have a feeling my sister(who is very involved) would be the first to reel me in! Dennis and I also want to get more involved in church activities.

Please lift a prayer up for Dennis' nephew Andrew. He got his gall bladder out this week and is doing fine. But they are trying to get his meds all figured out before they can release him. He has congested heart failure, so it is always tricky when he has any procedure done.

Blessings!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

P.S. There was a bright spot in this week so far. Every year the NYC Buddy Walk requests photos of our kiddos to be displayed in Time Square on the jumbo tron. I submitted a photo of Claire and they accepted it! So September 26th in Time Square, Claire will be up in lights! Along with quiet a few other kiddos, but I think that is exciting! And while we will not get to NYC, we will be able to get the video of it.
Today was a bad day. I slept all day and of course got sick. You would think after so many treatments I would be prepared and used to these days, but you aren't. You dread them. Nothing ever prepares you for feeling like this. My stomach is growling with hunger. I tried to eat a few crackers and they just sat around in my mouth dry as could be. Nothing else sounds good to try, nor do I want to.
I just told Dennis that the closer I get to the end, the more excited, yet scared I get. What if? He of course is Mr Optimistic. I cannot help but think that. I am not trying to be pessimistic. I am scared for the fact that they don't want to perform radiation on me due to where the cancer is, this is what concerns me. All I can do is put this in the hands of the Lord and know that he will do what he feels is right for me. To keep hearing of so many people dying of cancer, people my age, right now while I have cancer, really kind of freaks me out. I hate to hear it, but it is the way it is.
I don't know how much I will blog this week since most the week will be like today and I am sure no one really wants to hear it all over again!
Please remember to lift up in prayer those that have had damage due to the weather yesterday and the families affected by the fires as well.
Blessings on your week.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Every week there is a dear, dear lady from St Joes that sends me cards. Last week this prayer was enclosed and I just love it and want to share it:
"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
Thomas Merton

Monday, August 3, 2009

Yeah treatment # 9 down! I know the rest of the week will be rough, but so blessed to be closer to the end. I did not see Dr O today. I was disappointed. I thought I was scheduled to, but not so. I will see her on the 17th. My numbers looked really good. I was happy about that. They did give me a script for Ambien, so I will try that tonight and hope it works.
Robin and Jan, thanks for the cookies. They are almost as good as my sugar cookie, ok, it was as good as mine. I obviously ate the whole thing!
I decided I could do my own weight loss commercial. Who needs Jenny Craig! "Hi! I am Mary and I lost 40 pounds. I take chemo and had reconstructive bowel surgery!" Ha! Ok, I don't think they would let me make that commercial. No offense to Jenny Craig clients. One thing though, I don't think you will find me in a bikini! Scary!
Everyday I think of all my friends going through cancer or dealing with the after affects and different surgeries. Please remember Jan, Tammy, Mick, Linda, Craig, and so many others.
Tomorrow Claire is spending the day with the Sunburys. What a blessing to have that family in our lives. God knew what he was doing when he brought Claire and Kathy together almost 4 years ago! Thank you Sunburys!
Blessings to all!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Our week was pretty good. Last Sunday we took Claire to the fair. I got my pork chop and I was happy! I rested alot this week. Of course I go in tomorrow for another treatment, so there goes my week!
Friday night Dennis and I went to the fair. After an hour I was ready to leave. Didn't get my pork chop that night, the line was so long! We then went and visited with our friends Mark and Janet. We decided at the last minute to run to Menards in Columbus to look for an area rug. We really need new carpeting, but since that is the last thing on our priority list, we decided we could get an area rug. No luck. But we did stop by Cold Stone Creamery and got ice cream! Yum:)
Saturday it was just the girls for most of the day. Dennis got the opportunity to go to the Senior Golf open at Crooked Stick. He had a really good time and enjoyed it.
Sunday was the Gerth reunion. I hate that it seems to get smaller every year. There is always great food and good company of course.
I got the chance to go over and introduce myself to the new neighbors. He was not home, but the wife was. They have 2 kids and one on the way. She seems very sweet. My neighbor Ronda and I are going to fix them a meal in a couple of weeks. The least we can do.
I don't know how much I will be blogging this week. By now you know me, if I am having a bad day or I am pissed, I will blog about it! ha! The only thing I need to do tomorrow is ask Dr O for something to help me sleep through tomorrow night. And my wonderful husband has taken a half day to go with me to sit with me and to meet Dr O.
Blessings for a wonderful week!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

People say, oh I could never do that! But when you meet cancer patients you understand the bravery and spirit those people show each and every day. Their struggles motivate and inspire you to test the limitsof your endurance and to cross that finish line. You'll be surprised by whatyou can do."- John Kellenyi, Eight-time marathoner and leading fundraiser withThe Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training.
After spending the week in bed, it was good to get out for a bit Sunday. We went to the Jackson County fair. I think I sat more than I walked! I still tire really easily. It was good seeing alot of friends we have not seen for awhile. I only ate a few fries and bites of my pork chop. But I got that to go so I will munch on that tomorrow. That was the one thing I was really looking forward to. The Pork producers have the best food! I did support St Ambrose by getting Claire a hot dog and french fries.
Thank you for everyone who keeps us in their prayers. This is all I ask of everyone. Please lift up the Joray family who lost their mom, wife, and best friend this week to cancer. This breaks my heart and scares me at the same time. You try and stay as positive as you can. But not everyone survives and you just keep praying you are one of the survivors. I am sure year after year, no, I should say, month after month, I will pray that my cancer is in remission. I also know we never know what God's plan is and we should never question it, but sometimes being human that is hard.
Enjoy the week. I think we are in for some more rain.
Blessings!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The five stages of grief:

Today I am angry. I think I skip around them alot. I got past denial quickly. I don't even know if I went through this stage because I knew I had cancer. I also don't recall the bargaining stage. I am not very good at that so I am sure I skipped that too! Anger, depression, and acceptance seem to be the ones I go back and forth on.

I am angry today because I feel my body is letting me down. I feel it should be here for strength and I am not feeling strong today. I am feeling very weak and tired and just cannot stand to sit on the toilet anymore! And even though I am angry today, I have also accepted that this is the way it is going to be the remainder of my treatments. I am sorry, but anyone who has cancer or had cancer, and said it did not affect them emotionally is in major DENIAL!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot help but think every day when I wake up that I have a life threatening disease inside my body. And while I know the chemo is helping fight that disease, it is hard because chemo messes with your good cells and your bad cells.

I am angry because I feel bad that my husband feels he should be able to help me and he feels helpless. Cancer is so unfair to everyone involved. Please pray for those going through this horrible, horrible disease. And take a minute to think about what stages of grief that you would go through.

Blessings!





Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Not a good day. Started out last night not being able to sleep at all. I even took some Tylenol PM and no luck. I think I got to sleep around 5 a.m. Thank you Katie and Beth Anne for watching Claire today so that I could make my appointments and get some rest. Eating ice cream at 2:30 in the morning and then an egg roll at 4:30 is not my idea of fun. Especially when the egg roll reared it's ugly head again! I need to talk with Dr O when she gets back from vacation and see if there is something that they can give me to sleep on the nights after chemo.
I was exhausted of course and just nausea as all get out today. I don't know honestly how many times one can get sick. It is bad when you throw up Gatorade and can't even keep that down! My stomach muscle ache from getting sick! I am telling you, I am not meant to be bulimic! It is too painful and gross to boot! I have even started waiting until the evening to take my regular meds that I am on as to make sure I don't throw them up!
Saw Dr Le and things are going well as far as recovery. I will see him again after Labor day. Such a great surgeon and all around human being.
Tomorrow Claire is going to mom and dad's. I am sure it will not be a fun morning. This is the day where I really am tired and sick. Ugh!
On a good note: I saw Jan today when I was at the Cancer center getting my shot. She was released from the hospital so that is definitely good. Made my day to say the least!
Enjoy the week and all it's blessings!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Good news today at chemo. My potassium levels were "normal" so I did not have to receive any by IV. I told them I was not taking the supplements. They upset my stomach too much. Sorry, I will suffer as much as I can and then forget it! There is only so much one can take! And I was glad my counts were good so they were able to treat me. They had to send a couple of people away today. It is just hard when the Dr is on vacation. I left the building and immediately felt like my face was on fire! As soon as I hit the heat it does it to me after chemo. Was glad to get in the car and cool down! Darned steroids!
Looking forward to Dennis and Claire coming home this afternoon. Hopefully I won't sleep the day away! I go see Dr Le tomorrow and I think that it is for him. Yeah! One less Dr to have to see!
Please lift a prayer up for my friend Jan. She is really having a rough time this go around of her treatments. She was admitted into the hospital last night. She has a fever and aches and pains. They gave her fluids and antibiotics, so here's hoping she will be feeling better.
Blessings!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Time flies. And this time it is a good thing.Dennis and Claire are on their way home. They are spending the night North of Milwaukee and then will be home mid afternoon tomorrow. I cannot wait to see them! I have really missed them. Though I have to say, it has been nice to have the quiet. Nice not to have to close the bathroom door!
Thursday night I had dinner with my friend Jennifer. (thank you Jennifer) Friday night we opened up our garage sale. Don't think I would do another Friday night sale. We did fairly well the next day. I know we didn't have as much as we usually have because I just did not have the energy to really clean out things.
Saturday night I went to a pool party. Listened to the Coral Reefer Band. They are good. And I am partial to the T.O.G. Band. Good to get out for a bit.
Sunday was mass and then a long nap! I ran to Foods Plus and left my Gatorade there! Ugh! I hate it because it happens to me all the time, it is on the other side of town, and that is basically all I am drinking right now! Definitely a Charlie Brown moment!
Tomorrow I head to the chemo lounge for treatment #8, round 4! I come to hate Sundays before chemo day. And I hate Monday nights after chemo because I do not sleep. I think I am so pumped up on the drugs that I just don't sleep!
Hopefully this week will not be too bad, please pray that it isn't!
Love and Blessings on your week!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

P.S. I am such a bad friend....Happy Belated Birthday to my friend Pam Norwich! Hopefully you are reading this Pam. I love you!
What an emotional week. Why don't men go through these things? I am so over all of this crap that is going on in my life. And by crap I mean cancer. I hate the situation in my life right now. I am finding it hard to stay positive sometimes. I know some people read this blog and want to hear all the good things and happy things, but realistically, there is nothing happy about cancer. I am not trying to be negative, I am being honest. My reality right now is this cancer and it sucks big time! I am so tired of not feeling well. I am also tired of getting sick so much this time around. I never know when it is going to hit me. Last night Claire and I were cuddling and all of the sudden I had to run to the bathroom and get sick! Ugh!

Please don't get me wrong, I am blessed in more ways than I can count. I have so many good things in my life aside of the cancer. But right now, THIS IS MY LIFE. And cancer is a part of it. More than I would like. I wish I could say I am great everyday and go on with my life. I am not. I am tired. I am sick. My body does not like this.


I hope everyone is having a good week.

Blessings!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

This week was really hard. I felt queasy and was very tired. Thank you to all my family that helped out with Claire, I couldn't have done it without you! I am constantly reminded that I am still recovering from my surgery on top of chemo.
Cancer really is a lonely disease. No one can tell you they know what you are "going through." Even my friend Michelle who has been through more than I ever went through with lymphoma, cannot know what I am going through. For me it is an emotional roller coaster and I apologize to my family and friends for that if I am short or cranky. It is hard for me because some days are good and some days are bad. I used to not like to play things "by ear." But I have learned to and are more comfortable that way. I am just so ready for all of this to be over with. I am tired of chemo, I am tired of recovering from this surgery. I feel like it is wearing on my body. I know, I know, in the end it will all be worth it.
Not much going on this week. Claire starts back on her horseback riding lessons. Dennis is going to take Claire up north for his class reunion. I am nervous about this seeing how it is a long (at least 10 hours) long drive. I just don't want him to get frustrated when she is whining in the car and wants this and wants that while he is driving. He is a braver man than I would be. So...
my sister and I are having a garage sale. We are having it Friday night and then Saturday a.m.
Enjoy your week and blessings!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Today was my 7th treatment and I am half way through! I went in at 9 and thought I didn't have to give blood this time or see Dr O. Wrong! I had to do both. So I gave blood and just hung around until I had to see Dr O. Thank you Dennis for my laptop. All my counts looked good except for my potassium and it was not dangerously low. I talked them into giving me the liquid form. I could have cut the others in half, but I would rather take the liquid. Dr O was very optimistic about my counts. She mentioned again that she did not want to do a cat scan since the last one I had in the hospital( after the 5th treatment) showed the nodes had shrunk then. I told her it is really taking a toll on my body this time. We agreed with the surgery that it was just going to be that way until the end. I told her I know, I need to "get over it!" She had her 14 year old daughter there with her today. It was funny. She was in the room with us and most of the time she was looking at her fingernails! You could tell she was interested....NOT! Cute kid though and polite. So Dr O is getting ready to go on vacation for the next 2 weeks. Poor thing is headed to France where her mother lives. Just so happens the Tour De France passes her moms house. So next time I go in, as long as my counts look good, the nurses can treat me. Once again she emphasis that she wants me to maintain my weight and not lose anymore. I promised I would and after chemo I am losing more! Though I cannot tell you the last time I weighed this!
I just need to thank everyone again. We so appreciate the food, the cards, and the company you have given us. It means so much to us.
I did find out today that a friends father has a tumor that has grown. They can no longer treat him in Seymour and he is going back up to his DR at IU med. Hopefully there are clinical studies or something else they can do for him. I hated it because I was there getting treatment when they got the news and it broke my heart. So please lift up a prayer for him and his family. I pray God gives them the strength and peace they need to face this new journey they are on.
Blessings to you all!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The weekend was fine. It was nice having Dennis home for 3 days. We took Claire to get a bob hair cut for the summer. Shout out to Katie and Brett for helping with that. Getting her hair cut is not high on Claire's list of fun things to do. It looks really cute! She looks so much older! Boo-hoo!

We had a pretty uneventful weekend. Saturday we went to the park and listened to Mike and the T.O.G. band. Always a good time! We came home and took naps and pretty much stayed in the rest of the night. It was so rainy.

I just got back from taking a walk around the block and I am tired! I probably could have walked farther, but I was tired anyway. Seem to be having a hard time getting back into chemo this round. I go tomorrow for treatment #7 and am not looking forward to it. I just want it all over with! Between the surgery and my chemo I am so over all of this!

There is a blog that I enjoy reading. It is www.cancerlost.blogspot.com. She calls it "I kicked cancer's @ss." Obviously a survivor! She has some great stories on there about other survivors and their stories, very good and interesting. Check it out if you have time.

Enjoy your week. I know this will be a hard week for me since I have chemo, but hey, that is life! And I am alive so that is all that matters!

Blessings!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Having a blah day. I guess I should say I am feeling sorry for myself day. And I don't know why I am feeling bad for having it. We all have them. If you say you don't I know you are lying!
Had a nice lunch with my friend Janet (thank you). Came home and it just hit me. Bam! I feel like this recovery is holding me back. I feel like the world is going on around me and I am stuck in this bubble trying to recover. I am just trying to gain strength day to day and it is really getting me down. I want to carry my child. I want to take her places by myself. I want to take her to the playground on beautiful days like today and I can't. My upper body and lower body for that matter strength just isn't there. I want to get out and walk and walk and walk. Not just up the street and back. Then there is the cancer thing.... this is not as bad. In fact, I was doing fine until this constructive bowel issue came along!
You know and then there is the family thing. I feel like I am putting my family through so much and I don't want to. I really did not want them to see me on a ventilator, I really did not want them to see me with 30 pounds of fluid I had on me. I don't want them to see me having bad days. Then I feel like they worry about me. I just want this whole process of recovery from the surgery and my chemo to be over with. I really want to feel like a "normal" person. Ok, I can tell it is time to talk to my friend Michelle, who went through all of this a couple of years ago. She is the one I run to when I feel this way.
It does my heart good to know that tomorrow is a new day. And I have wine coolers in the house! Ha! You k now, you are told when you have chemo not to drink alcohol or have anything like mouthwash with alcohol because it can put sores in your mouth. I had a bit of wine the other night and I did just fine. I thought that was a good sign! ha!
I hope everyone enjoys your weekend in case I do not blog until then.
Blessings!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Ok, I was not done posting and hit publish post. The day out wore me out, but it was good to get out as I don't do that very often. Sunday we had the going away party for Fr Todd. It was a great party, but sad to say good bye. But, am looking forward to meeting new priest and getting to know him.
Today I have been queasy and have had diarrhea. I do not think it is related to my chemo, I just think it is something viral. Ugh! I hate feeling this way. A big thank you to my niece Katie. She came at 10:00 and I went to lay down. I woke up at 2:00. She deserves over time! I only expected to lay down for a couple hours.
It has really been hard for me to realize that I am only 8 hours out of major surgery. I was crying last night telling Dennis that it is so hard for me to take the time to rest. But I get so worn out and need to. He had to remind me of where I was 8 weeks ago and that neither one of us wanted to go back there. Nice kick in the a$$! ha!
Claire is out of school this week. I am going to enjoy the week with her. Maybe go to story time and for sure try and get her a hair cut. we decided to go shorter for summer. Saturday night I got her on video walking. it was so cute! I say by the end of the summer she will be running!
Blessings on your week.
Weekend was good. We went out to SICA and listened to the reunion band. Saturday my sister and I went to see,"My sisters keeper." Very good movie and a tear jerker that is for sure. Then we went shopping. After losing 30 pounds apparently I needed some new clothes and under garments!

Friday, June 26, 2009

I was thinking the other day. Something that caught me and has stuck with me. So many people approach me and tell me I am brave. What exactly does that mean? Brave. Is it that they don't know what else to say? I am not brave. I don't even feel like I am any different than anyone else right now. Cancer or no cancer. I understand that not all people with cancer have a positive attitude and just as soon give up. Not everyone accepts their disease like others. I suppose if I was told I had no chance of surviving,I might even have a nasty attitude. I mean really, aren't we all brave?
Everyone experiences moments in their lives where they do what they have to do to survive. To make it day to day. My worst moments were in the hospital. I was getting so depressed. I even told my sister I felt defeated. I could not catch a break. Cancer and then this surgery. It was bad enough I had had 5 chemo treatments, so I was an exceptional case with the surgery and recovery as well! But I obviously survived and not because I was brave, because I had to.
I am also stumped at the word inspiration. Was I not an inspiration to people before I had cancer? This confuses me too.
all I am doing is the best I can and making the most of everyday and every minute. You can't get these times back. I treasure time with my family. Watching Claire do things for the first time. Enjoying hearing her little voice and her laughter. These are not actions of a brave person or an inspirational person, just a person living life day to day.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Week has been pretty good. Wednesday I did feel like a Mack truck hit me, Thursday it was more like a pick up truck! I am sure tomorrow will be better. Like I said before, having my treatments on Monday will free up my weekends at least.
My appetite is coming back with a vengeance. Everything sounds good. I can only eat small portions though. This is ok with me. Seeing how some of the things I am craving are not the best for me. I thank God for children's meals at restaurants! Most of them will let you order off that menu. I still want to keep off the 30 pounds I lost, so I have to watch what I eat.
I had the chance to have a nice visit with my first grade teacher tonight! Our family has always been close to Sr Carol. It was so good to see her.
Ms Claire is doing well and maturing so quickly. She was standing at the door tonight and I could not believe how big she looked! She is off of school next week so I will enjoy being with her all week.
This weekend Beth Anne and I are going to see, " My sisters keepers." I am sure I will have to pack Kleenex's. Also going out to SICA tomorrow night to listen to the reunion band. Good to get out.
Blessings on your weekend!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Weekend was pretty good. Friday night we went out to the Southern Indiana Center for the Arts (SICA). My brother Mike and his band played. We left Claire with our neighbors Preston's(thank you by the way) because we thought it would be too hot. I don't know if she would have sat very still anyway. But it was nice out and an enjoyable evening. I even went hatless! My hair is growing back and quite frankly, it was too hot for any kind of hat or scarf.
Friday was my last infusion day as well and boy was I a happy camper.
Saturday we went over to the high school and listened to the TOG band again. Sunday we went to mass and then out to Cracker Barrel for lunch. We all ended up coming home and taking long naps before going over to mom and dads for a visit.
Today I started back to chemo. There were some people I did know there getting treatments. I also had to get potassium through my IV because of it being so low. I would much rather get it this way then take those blasted horse pills! Yes, I am being a baby about it! It will be interesting to see when I start detoxing from chemo. I am thinking either Wednesday or Thursday I will be really tired and worn out. Who knows?
I did start reading "My sisters keepers" today. My sister and I are going to go see it this weekend when it comes out.
Enjoy your week and count your blessings!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Today was an appointment filled day. I met with Dr Le first and things are looking good. He cotorsized the small area that was still draining. I go back in another month and see him for follow up.

And the of course I had my daily infusion appointment. Tomorrow is my last day!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!! I made cookies for the nurses there for putting up with me for 4 weeks.

Then I went and saw Dr Olivarez. She wasn't really upset with my weight loss like I thought she for sure would be. She consulted with Dr Robertson in Indy as far as starting chemo back and what the plan should be. So, I go back to chemo on Monday. My potassium was low so I have to take a horse of a potassium pill 2x a day. Not looking forward to choking that down!

My friend Melanie came over tonight and gave me the most awesome pedicure. I think I have found my own pedicurist! My feet feel so good and look great to boot! Thanks Mel!

Hoping everyone has a great weekend full of blessings!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Today has been a blah day. I think it must be the weather. I am so anxious to quit having to go to the infusion ctr everyday to get those meds. They are so strong and really mess with my stomach. It is hard when you have your appetite back and can't really eat much. I usually can eat by 2:00 in the afternoon. And when we do order out it is half of what I can eat. But today I successfully ate an entire jr. bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's. Sorry Dr Le, I know that was not lean protein!
My routine is to go get infused and then I come home and rest because they upset my stomach. I rested for 4 hours today! I guess my body needs the sleep but really! In my world that is unheard of! There would be too many things to do around the house! So you know I have slowed down to heal now.
Got out after dinner and walked up and down the street. Felt good to get out and walk. I am going to start practicing at the hospital in the stairwell on steps. I really need to build my strength up there.
Not much else happening here. I see Dr Le Thursday morning and Dr O that evening. Hoping to start chemo next week again.
Blessings

Friday, June 12, 2009

One more week of infusions and hopefully I can get back on track with my chemo.
This past week my blood pressure has been really high. The nurse called Dr Towriss today and he came down and saw me. He just increased the dosage of what I was taking. He was thrilled the infection was gone. He explained to me why I have this other little spot that seems to be draining on it's own. That is where Dr Le went in with a scope. So now I feel much better.
He did say it will still be a good 6 weeks before I am feeling myself.
Last Sunday when I went to get my infusion, one of the nurses from the Cancer center was working and she told me they had all kinds of new people to for me to chat with when I come back. I had to laugh at that.
My only concern going back to chemo is the spanking I am going to get from DR Olivarez with my weight lose. I am surely thinking she will understand and just tell me not to lose anymore. I have not been this thin in years. Thank god I had the weight to lose. Oh well, "it is what it is."
I guess not much more to report. Sissy and I are running to Walgreen's today. I don't know how much more exciting you can get than that! I need to get out, but don't want to be around alot of people.
Blessings on your week and your weekend!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Weekend was fine. They all kind of come and go right now. Looking forward to the to Saturdays where I can get up and go garage saling. My life is on hold I feel like right now and it is hard. Once I can get my balance and walking down, at least I will be able to drive again. I know this recovery time is going to be longer than the last because it is more of a major surgery. Can you tell I am down about all of this. Don't get me wrong. I am thankful I am healing and I am home and surrounded by those that can help, it still is hard to have to be dependent on folks.
I have started walking to the infusion center. I don't have a problem walking as much as I do standing for any amount of time.
Thank you once again to the Rosary Society Members who continue to bring us food every week. And to Michelle Nicther for the awesome pie!
Blessings

Thursday, June 4, 2009

What an interesting day. Once I finally got in to see the Radiologist doing procedure, he did an unltrasound and said he did not see the pockets of infection. So then we did a ct scan and it showed the same thing. He decided that the 2 weeks of anti biotics I have been getting cleared the infections up. He really did not see any reason to be poking around in me.
So thank you for your continued prayers and well wishes.
Blessings

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tomorrow is my day to get my infection drained. I am sure I will come home with a drain tube. Dr Le's office will be able to take that out. I am hoping the infusion ctr will call me and let me know what Dr Towriss says about going in on Friday. I have a feeling he will want me to wait a day to go back in and get some more fluids and anti biotic.
I am alittle nervous but just ready to get this done. I do have more energy everyday. Even if I slept 3 hours today!
Once again, thank you so much for all the food, Michelle the pie did not last long. We certainly aren't wanting for anything. This just shows you how awesome people are in your time of need.
Blessings!
Thank you Aunt Dayna for your information!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

I was not finished with the previous post and somehow hit enter! OOps! I have been getting around more and definitely sitting outside every opportunity that I can. I could go out on my own, but the first step is too big for me to get back into the house without any help.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Having a hard weekend with all of Taylor's graduation festivities and not being able to go. Beth Anne took me down to the church yesterday before the open house and let me see how neat it was decorated. It looked awesome. Today she graduated. Ok, dont know if I missed sitting in a hot gym, but nonethe less. Just really hard.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I had my follow up with Dr Le today. I am healing well, but he told me I need to try and eat some more lean protein. He suggests Boost over ensure. So I am going to try and see how that tastes.
I have an appt with the Dr in Indy next Thursday. I have to be at St Francis Beech Grove at 9 a.m. I am anxious to get this infection drained. Dr Le told me though that even after this is drained, it will take at least 14 more weeks to feel like myself. I am sure I will still be going to the infusion center to still get my antibiotics and fluids.
I just want to start getting some energy back that is all! My family has been extraordinary in helping out and so have friends.
Claire's last day of school was today. She has about a week off before she gets to go to summer school for 5 weeks. She will be able to get her therapies this way.
Peace and blessings

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Thought I would blog while it was a little quiet in the house. Claire is off to horseback riding lessons and this is the first time I am home alone.
I received a call from Dr Le last night. He spoke with the dr who will be doing my procedure. I waited all day for this Dr to call and he finally did! I will be going to St Francis Beech Grove. I just needed to bring a disc of the ct scan that was taken Friday. He will use that to see where the infected areas are. His person will call my person to set up an appt. I told him I was actually looking forward to this. He told me I was a funny lady.
Tomorrow I have a follow up with Dr Le and then off to the infusion center again. They treat me so nice. They have my little blanket, and pillow and this blower that blows out warm air for me underneath my blanket.
Every day is a challenge. And it really is hard on me emotionally. So thank you for your prayers. I have a long list of thank yous to get out, so don't think I have not forgotten about any of you and all the kind things you do!
Blessings

Monday, May 25, 2009

It has been a pretty uneventful weekend. All my days seem to run into one another anymore. I will continue to go to the infusion ctr at the hospital daily to get my fluids and anti biotics until Dr Towriss can set up a time for me to get into the dr up north. I am hoping this week. I really want to get this infection out of my body so that I can continue to heal. I am so weak all of the time. All I do is rest. Sometimes going to the bathroom is a chore. At least I feel as though I know why I am not getting stronger everyday. It is just hard to lay around and not be able to do much. Today after my infusion I had Beth Anne just drive me around town to see things other than 4 walls.
Thank you to everyone who continues to bring by food for my family and a big shout out to the Rosary Society especially for providing so much food! It touches our heart that even though we don't attend church out there that they find it in their hearts to help us out.
Blessings

Saturday, May 23, 2009

There hasn't been much to blog this week. It has been a tough week. I do have to say at least I am at home and in my own environment.


I had my follow up appt with Dr Towriss yesterday. Things did not go as well as I wanted. He told me I should be in the "recovery stage." But I am still in the "sick stage." My counts are still high which still indicated I am fighting off an infection. He has me going to the infusion center everyday at the hospital to get an antibiotic and some fluids. He also had me get a CT scan last night. He called me at home and told me there is an infection. Apparently this is not uncommon. They try and get everything clean, but it is not always easy. So the next step is for him to contact a doctor at St Vincents that can go in and just drain the infection. I am hoping this will be this week. The sooner the better. DR T said as long as I don't have fevers,etc.... I will be able to stay out of the "big house." the hospital.

For now I am asking for no visitors. My immune system is pretty low and I am suspseptible to too many things.

Thank you once again for all the food, cards and prayers. Please say extra prayers for me, this whole operation, etc....has been a bump in the road for me. I am trying to stay positive but it is hard.

Blessings

Saturday, May 16, 2009

First full night home was nice. I figured out the recliner is the best place for me to be right now. I have no way of getting up out of the beds when I lay down. God Love Dennis, I just ask for him and he lifts me back up or down when I need out.
The pain is tolerable. I am taking pain meds. which I really hate to do. We will see if they work their magic or not. I am actually able to walk alittle better than I did before. I know that everyday it will get better and I will get stronger. I do get up as much as I can during the day and walk around. Having that epidural in me for a week did not help the fact that I could not feel my legs!
I have to go get blood drawn on Monday and then make a follow up appt with Dr Towriss this week too.
Once again I cannot thank you enough for all the prayers and cards, the food and gifts. It is nice to get a card everyday.
Not awhole lot more to report, will blog more later....
Blessings!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I really dont know how much of this I will be blogging tonight. Kinda wearing down. The new release date has been set for tomorrow. I willl still have to come back next week and get a scan to keep an eye on the infection. I have to commned the staff because they have been so patient and kind.And of course Dr Le and Dr Torwiss and Dr Olson.


Thank you for the visitors, Fr Todd, and Pastor Aaron for coming by to pray with me.


I still have a long few months of recovery. I can walk but sometimes fell wobbly.

Last Wednesday was a bad day because we were figuring out pain managemet and all kinds of differernt things.


Friday Nurse Sarah called a friend of her's to come visit me. I was pretty down in the dumps. Her name was Candy, weighed about 146 pds was St Bernard! She was awesome. Dave Nueman in town owns her and she is a therapy dog. She came again the other day. Really neat!


The worst part of all of this. The venilator. I was sedated a bit, but when I wasn't it was hell! I would never wish that on my own worst enemy. To be able to hear and not speak!


I will close for now. Really missing my family everyday.


Blessings

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Greetings from Schneck Medical Center. I am tying to adjust to the gift that Claire and Dennis bought me for Mothers day. A laptop.
There has seemed to be a bit of a set back on releasing me. Yesterday I had a ct scan there there appears to be an infection somewhere. They had finally decided to take me off the anti-biotic because they were raising my white cell count. Until this happened. As far as I know I will have another scan on Friday to see if it is still there. So it looks like I will be staying through the weekend. Can I ever get a break? They did release me from PT today, so that is good.
I wont babble on and on....But I wanted to personally thank everyone for their cards, and prayers, and gifts. We so appreciate the help.
Dennis is doing wonderful job with Claire and he needs to be commended. I love you!
Blessings

Monday, May 11, 2009

Weekend went well, other than not really getting out, but whatever the Dr. thinks is best for the longterm recovery and well being is fine. In the hospital for one Mother's Day to be healthy for all the ones to come is best.

Saw Mary at lunchtime today. She is up and moving around quite a bit. I guess she is not even using the walker anymore, PT just uses a belt strap around her waist for safety support. Friend Tiffani took her for a ride around and downstairs of the hospital in a wheel chair to get Mary a change of scenery.

Appetite is still slow coming around. Still sore from the surgery but not as much PAIN.

I think both mother and daughter are feeling the effects of being away from each other. They both are missing the cuddle time they had grown accustomed to. I can also tell that Mary is getting antsy about getting out, she has been such a model patient for the Dr's and nurses let's hope she can continue to be patient.

A big shoutout to sister-in-law Beth, for the food brought over this weekend. Hope everyone had a great Mother's day weekend.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Seems to be a difficult day today. Recovery is still going well, but emotionally a little let down today. Dr. Towriss really would like to keep Mary in the hospital for about another week. She is of course getting uncomfortable and not getting as much rest as she would like with all of the interruptions for IVs, visits, therapy, meals, bathroom breaks, etc.

Beth Ann and I did bring Claire up to see mommy at lunch time today. Both of them are missing each other dearly. Hope this helped to brighten Mary's day rather than getting her more down.

Since Mary is on solid food and does not seem too thrilled with any of the hospital selections so far, Beth Ann and I are waiting on her to tell us something she is craving from the outside world that we can bring up to her.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Visited with Mary at lunch - soup and pudding in front of her so they are trying to get solid food started - of course she wasn't too impressed with what she had. Cathetar out today and she has been up and walking a little in her room. She looks and feels much better and right now is being really patient.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mary continues to do great. She was up sitting on the side of the bed last night. They took out the epidural this afternoon in preparation for getting her to move around more. Tired and uncomfortable so she asked for people to hold off visting her today. Even though I didn't like not seeing my wife today while she is in the hospital I respected her wishes. Claire had horseback riding tonight and than a bath so I was kept busy even though I didn't make it to the hospital.

She is already texting me with a list of items to bring to her tomorrow. Must be feeling a little better.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Mary continues to recover from surgery wonderfully. She was moved from the ICU to a regular private hospital room this morning. Also just got a text from her and Dr. Lee her surgeon was just in her room a little while ago and she got her NG tube removed from down her nose. I think she was a little happy on that development.

They will be working with her to get her up and sitting and moving. Obviously she is still a little sore from being opened up again. Getting her digestive system working again is the other main step to get her on liquid and than solid food.

Must be feeling a little better was inquiring about Kovener's Corner ice cream tonight!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Just came back from seeing Mary. She is doing wonderful. Her opinion of ventilators is that they are awful. Fluid output is great - everyone that knows Mary will know what I mean when she is getting back to normal with her output. They will be working with her to sit on the side of the bed this afternoon and evening and progress to out of bed in a chair. If everything keeps going good, out of ICU tomorrow morning to a normal hospital room. Thanks to everyone and the power of prayer. Will update later tonight after I see her again, may even take Claire up tonight so she can see Mommy and Mommy can see her. I am 100% positive they both miss each other since they haven't been together since last Wednesday evening.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Mary is doing very well at this time. She spent most of the day sedated so that she was comfortable with the ventilator still in. Currently scheduled to have the vent removed around 10:00 AM tomorrow morning. Her fluid output continues to increase as well as getting lighter which are good signs on the kidney function starting to work more. She was awake a little on my last visit around 9:00 PM. She smiled and had me adjust the bed a little. Told her how much I love her and that she was doing great and that she just needed to keep resting - she actually nodded her head in approval.

Big shout out to our friends Bill, Cindy, Brady and Will Rinehart who spent the afternoon with Claire allowing me to come and go visiting with Mary and doing some errands around town and the house.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Long day - Mary had surgery today after what was a long night for her. Seems like the mystery of her admominal pain for the last 5 months may be solved along with her recent pains from Wednesday night.

Surgery today revealed trouble with Mary's small intestine. Appropriate term would be small bowel obstruction due to adhesion. Two loops of her small intestine were attached together with scar tissue about 4" below the adhesion she had developed a hole in her intestine known as a perferation.

Dr. Towriss and Dr. Lee presume that the adhesion was most likely what was causing the gastric pain Mary has been having off and on. The hole and subsequent infection is what caused the severe pain on Wednesday night. Investigation of her appendix and gall-blader showed normal function so they were not removed.

Dr. Lee removed about a 2 foot section of the intestine from the adhesion through the perferation. Cleaned up the infection fluid and other matter from the hole, and re-attached the intestine.

Mary is in the ICU unit at Schneck under sedation and on a ventilator to allow her to rest and start the healing process. Post op complications will be the biggest worries moving forward. With her reduced immune system and chemo treatments, infection, hernia and pnumonia are potential issues.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Well here I am again - and as most of you know, if I am making the blog entry that means that Mary is not available. Around 9:00 PM last night Mary had another one of her bouts with stomach pains, this one much more painful. Sissy came over and off the the ER, I stayed home with Claire who was already asleep for the night. Initial reaction was most likely an issue with Mary's appendix. After two CT scans last night she was admitted to the hospital. She has a mass about the size of a racquetball in her lower right abdomen that could be something with her appendix, a complication around her lower intestine from the chemo treatment, a piece of one of her lymph nodes being treated by the chemo that has become infected, etc. Her white blood cell count was also high, most likely meaning that somewhere in her body there is an infected area. She is being prepped for possible surgery tomorrow. She must cleanse her digestive track, can you say Super Ex-Lax. She has also been put on IV anti-biotic. They will check her blood count and symptoms tomorrow AM to determine if they need to do the surgery. If surgery is needed they will try to remove/determine the mass laproscopic. If necessary they will have to do a full incision. Surgery will definitely put a delay on the remainder of Mary's scheduled chemo treatments. On a positive note, the CT scan showed that the lymph nodes in question from February show a reduction in size, which should tell us that the chemo is having some effect on the bad tissues.

Please keep Mary in your thoughts for a quick recovery and resolution to this latest issue.