Yesterday I discovered that Monday was pretty much like the rest of the weekend, tiring! I was fine in the morning, but after Claire and I got up from our naps I was still exhausted! Took another 2 hour nap when Dennis got home. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever get my energy back! It was hard just to jump in the shower last night. But...I should have at least a good week ahead. It is usually a good week and then chemo.
I appreciate everyone's positive comments regarding my blog and how honest I am being. I am just going through what alot of other people are going through every day as well. Yes, cancer does suck. And I have to admit that I had no idea what to expect. It is so hard on an individual, let alone the family and friends. I know I am hard on myself when I shouldn't be. I understand that there are alot of things we won't be able to do this summer because of me and I hate that. I do have to say that my body is good at telling me when I need my rest too. It literally shuts down.
Oh, I wanted to post this so that everyone knows my regimen that I am on regarding chemo:
http://lymphoma.about.com/od/treatment/qt/abvdchemo.htm. This gives you alittle bit of an idea of what I am on. You can always just google ABVD and there are plenty other websites.
Blessings!

It has been a typical weekend after chemo on Wednesday. I got up Friday and took my Zofran(anti nausea drug) and then an hour later proceeded to get sick. I now know how the clients I had when I worked in the detox center felt. Theirs was worse of course. But when you are detoxing(so to speak) and coming down off those chemo drugs it is exhausting! Beth watched Claire most of Friday while all I did was sleep. I was happy Dennis went out and to the Last Exit Dance without me. Thank you Patmores for watching Claire. He deserved a break and a night out.

Saturday..sleep sleep sleep.

Sunday, pretty much the same. Dennis and Claire went to mass and I stayed home and slept. I started having stomach issues again on Saturday night, so today has not been pleasant. I can't seem to hold any food down and the pain is not very tolerable.

Started taking a different antibiotic to try and clear up this darn ear that I am having problems with.Hopefully it will pop and I will be able to hear out of it soon!

Blessings on your week!

I needed to thank a few people. Brian and Paula for the beautiful gift of the dream catcher. Paula, you are so talented and sweet. I had a hard time deciding where to put it so that I would see it everyday and think of what you wrote about it and about you. Thank you also for the added gift of green as well.
As always thank you to my family for being here for me and helping me with Claire. I know she is alot of trouble. Ok, maybe just for mommy she is!
And of course my wonderful husband and everything he does to help and make me more comfortable.
Blessings!

Today was my third round of chemo...or was it? I spoke with my sister and told her that I was afraid I had heard Dr. O wrong. I had me second round today according to Dr O. Day 1 and Day 15 are considered a round. But Beth Anne did confirm that when she went with me to my consult with DR O that Dr O did say it would be 6-8 months. At this point I don't really think it matters, just had to blog to vent my confusion.

Tomorrow I have to go get an -ray of my port. Sally was not happy with the little amount of blood return it was giving out. Great!

Went to the family Dr today and got a cortisone nasal spray and some Sudafed to take to try and get this fluid off my ear. It is driving me nuts!

Oh, so I was not hungry. Thanks to my sister bringing me a huge salad for lunch! So I decided to be naughty and get a small chocolate shake at Sonic. Hey, I am maintaining my weight! Get out of the car and it drops on the drive-way, bottom and top! So you all know I cry alot. Wanted to cry, but then I was more upset having to clean up the darn mess on the driveway! Thank goodness it was in the grass too! So I go inside and get my big pitcher of water and try washing it over in the grass and down the drive-way. Not seeing me, you would have thought I probably got sick! Ha! Here I am outside with my bald head,etc...

I am not into wearing anything on my head! I sweat like a pig and the hot flashes just don't stop! Ok, I know, TMI.

I go tomorrow as well to get my Nuelasta shot! Ugh!

Enjoy the week with blessings!

I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend. We had a good day Friday. It was so nice to visit with our friends. Claire always has a blast at the Greenwood Park Mall playground. I cringed the whole time! I am like the commercial that shows the baby in the bubble! I am a germ-a-phobe. Especially now when I have to be so careful! Anyway, I think she enjoyed going up to the adults more than the children! Thanks to the Accinellis for meeting us!
Saturday morning I woke up with a throbbing ear ache! I went to Urgent Care and have an ear infection in my left ear. Dr Hartung gave me an anti biotic. It has been draining, but I still cannot hear out of it! It sucks to be me! Ha! I am just so susceptible to anything and everything right now. But I am not going to live in a bubble!
Went to church today and and pretty much relaxed the rest of the day. Baby Connor and Mike and Nikki and Gabe came to visit. Then along came Brett, Katie, and Emily. Was nice to have a house full of friendly faces. I know next Sunday will definitely be a "day of rest."
Why are people so afraid to approach me when they see me? I encountered this today at WalMart from a classmate. It was so weird! I used to get this after Claire was born. Now it is me! I guess I could have said something, but I didn't either. Last Saturday I ran into another classmate who was kind enough to ask what was wrong and if he could pray for me. What a sweet man. Thank you Shannon. I think the majority of the reason is that people don't want to upset me. Let me see, I have cancer....do you really think I could get anymore upset! Ha! Knew I should've gotten a wig! Ha!
Tomorrow is the last day before Claire goes back to school on Tuesday. I have truly enjoyed having her home with me all week. She has always had such a funny personality, but now that she has tubes in her ears, she never shuts up! And believe me, when mom can't hear out of one ear, it is magnified the sounds that she is making! Ha!
Round # 3 (DING) is Wednesday. Can't wait!
Blessings on your week!

Not a bad day yesterday. I got up and felt good so I arranged to have lunch with a couple of girlfriends while mom and dad watched Claire. Thank you Janet and Sharon and thank you mom and dad. Driving to my parents to pick Claire up, I suddenly felt tired. This irritated me! Got Claire and we both went home and took 2 hour naps. I still felt tired!
This whole process is upsetting. What should have been a beautiful day to be out walking, was marred by my tiredness. After dinner I called my friend Michelle. She is the only one who has been in my shoes. She received the same treatment etc... As soon as she said what is wrong, I started crying (yes, again!) and told her I didn't even know. But I did...I told her. I came to realize today that even when you say you are having a "good day," your good days aren't even that good. You still feel tired and worn out for no reason. And the more chemo my body receives, the more tired I will become. Dr O told me I would do things at half the speed I am used to. Half my butt! Ha! I feel like I am doing things a quarter of what I am used to.
I just feel this is going to be a hard summer. I can't be out in the sun or I will burn, yet I have to get Claire out and play with her. See, you can tell that I am a worrier. All these things to think about and consider.
I told Dennis last night to feel free to go up North this summer by himself to his class reunion because there was no way I would be able to handle the trip that far. 10-12 hours. This is just not the summer to plan ahead or to plan a long trip.
I keep telling myself that it is only one year out of my entire life. Even this is wearing thin and not really helping me.
I guess this is a whiny post. So here is to you my dear friend Cynthia who gave me permission to whine! Love ya!
I look forward to a Friday filled with laughter and fun with Jen, Mia, and Beth Anne.
Blessings!

I found this quote online and thought, "Amen sista!"
During chemo, you're more tired than you've ever been. It's like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you're out. You don't know how you'll answer the door when your groceries are delivered. But you also find that you're stronger than you've ever been. You're clear. Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception. Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience. Now it's instantaneous. ~Melissa Bank

It was a fairly good day all in all. I am having allergy issues, but nothing to really complain about. Claire and I went for a walk this evening. I did not even get my heart rate up. I pushed to still do this as I am still tired. I know that the more chemo my body gets the more tired I will get as well. It is so true when they say to treat this as a pregnancy. Get alot of rest in other words! Not to go hog wild on the food! Ha!
I hope you all got a chance to see Oprah today. I pick and choose when I watch her, but it was really good and had me crying the whole time! Imagine that! Montel Williams was on talking about his Multiple Sclerosis. I was not very educated at all in this disease. It was very interesting and my heart went out to him. But he was so positive and encouraging. Today I thought I could see why people go through so much pain, etc...that they think they can no longer go on. I don't feel this way, I just know after only 2 rounds I am sick of it all. It is hard to think that the evil toxins are going to save my life. I guess the proof will be in the pudding come round 12 this summer.
I want to say good luck to Paul tomorrow who is going to shave his head to support me! Go get 'em Paul! I guess this time you are taking off your hair and not your clothes! Ha! Private joke!
Blessings!

Crummy weekend. All I did was lay around and sleep and pop Ibuprofen. My body ached from the shot. It was tolerable, it just felt like I had the flu. I did manage to go to church yesterday, but that was it. I kinda felt ill the whole time so I am not sure that was a good call or not. I really hate missing church. I hate missing everything this treatment is doing to me. God love Claire, she is so understanding. She cuddles up with me and then tries to kick me off the couch! Ha! I just want to be present for her, and I don't feel that way sometimes. Then I think that there are others going on this same journey and why am I griping?

I did have to laugh Wednesday when I got my treatment. I told one of the staff members that I never noticed so many shampoo ads and hair product ads before when I had hair.

My sister and parents watched Claire this morning so that I could rest. All I did was sleep. I am having stomach issues again and am having a hard time holding anything down. Which ticks me off because my friend Janet just brought by BBQ! I will freeze some and eat it when I can. Thank you Janet. I love your BBQ!

Looks like we may meet our friends Jen and Mia in Indy Friday. I met Jen through an online DS support group. Mia is a couple months older than Claire and has DS. We haven't seen them in a while and they are a lot of fun. Hopefully the rest of the week will be better for me for Claire's sake.

Blessings on you week!

Yesterday I went and got my Nuelasta shot. I have heard so many bad things about the side effects of this shot that I was up Thursday morning at 4:00. I woke up crying and had a good cry for 2 hours. I had to have my sister take Claire to school. I was too exhausted to drive. It was horrible! All these things started going through my mind. What if I am taking chemo and going through all of this for no reason. What if after the 12-14 rounds of chemo I still have cancer...what if? what if? Ugh! It was horrible! Maybe I just needed that time to morn and grieve and get used to that fact that every other week for a few days I am going to feel like shit. (excuse my French but it is true)
All I have done today is sleep. This is so not me and I hate it! I am so tired I hardly even want to take the energy to eat.
I do need to give a shout out to several people. I don't think I acknowledged our Down syndrome support group for sending us the gift cards. They have been a blessing believe me. From day to day I have no idea what my appetite is going to be like and at least I know Dennis and Claire will get fed! Thank you!
Thank you to Joe Jones who has jumped on the band wagon for my cause. He shaved his head along with all his facial hair! What a great guy! Oh, and neighbor as well!
And Paul, my dear Paul. Our friend Paul in Green Bay has arranged to shave his head for charity for my cause. I believe I will have the donations he raises go to the Cancer Center here in town. I know Paul and he will kick ass with this! Thank you Paul..I love you!
I hope I have not forgotten anyone. Pat Gerth for the gift of prayer that you sent. Thank you very much!
I try and write thank yous as soon as I can, but I either lose them, or they sit with no stamps for weeks! My mother really did teach me better! Ha!
Next week is Spring Break and I am hoping Claire will sleep in most the week! She does start back on her horseback riding lessons. I know it will be tough for her to get back into them, but she will love them and I know she misses "Little Joe."
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Peace and blessings!

I wanted to take a minute to blog since I just put Claire down for a nap. Round 2 of Chemo is done! My white cell count was down which was not a surprise. I go in tomorrow to get the neulasta shot. Have not heard good things about the side effects of this, so I am apprehensive. I figured I may as well plan on a down weekend. This is fine with me. It still gives me a good week before round 3 that I will feel good.
Talked to the DR about weight lose. She does not even want me to think about losing weight right now. She just wants me to maintain. As chemo is stressful on the body as it is. She said alot of people gain weight as chemo goes along because they are more tired and less active. I thought this just means I will not be able to eat as much junk! I still plan on walking when I can for my sanity!
I have to admit that the nurses in the Cancer center are all nice and very funny. They really take care of their patients. For this I am grateful.
Tomorrow night Dennis and I are going to our DS support group meeting if my body allows. We have not been to a meeting in so long. It will be so nice to see everyone, esp the kiddos. Although we are keeping Claire at home.
Speaking of...she did very well with her tubes yesterday. She was their favorite patient yesterday they said. She kept waving and wanting to give her infamous "taters" to everyone. She is back to her old self today. She is very vocal and louder! I think she can actually hear herself more and is getting a kick out of it! Too cute!
Enjoy the sunshine!
Peace!

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Thank you to Janet for going shopping with me yesterday. I had a ball as always. Today was a little dreary, but the sun did eventually come out and I got a walk in. It was so nice to be able to walk. I really want to keep my weight off that I lost and maybe some more. I know people think that is not right to want to lose weight while undergoing treatment. Hey folks, I have it to lose and I just want to get in the habit of eating healthy anyway, and if losing weight comes with that, it is an extra bonus. I am going to have my good days and bad days when it comes to my appetite anyway. A few days after chemo I usually don't eat much anyway. Food is just not an appealing thing then.
I don't know how much I am going to get used to wearing a hat though. I know I would not survive with a wig. The hat is hot enough! Come summer I am sure you will see me around town with no hat at all! As long as I am not in the sun, I just as soon go bald! I wore one of my cute new hats to church today and thank god the air was on! This chemo has me in either peri-menopause or menopause. Geezzz....
Round 2 of chemo ( I feel as though a boxing bell should go off every time I say "ROUND" Ha..is Wednesday. I don't mind actual chemo days, it the days following that suck! Friday is usually the low day as well as Saturday, so we will see this time how things go. I take advantage of my good days as much as possible!
Once again I want to thank all my friends and family for their love and support. It means so much to me. To open up the mailbox and find a card every day is just incredible! I have a box that I put them in and I know I will need to look at them soon to remind me that this is all worth going through.
Claire gets her tubes on Tuesday. We have to be at Riley at 8:00 am. It will be an early morning! Please keep Claire in your prayers that everything goes well. The thought of my baby going under makes me nervous. But I look forward to seeing how she does with her tubes. I know they will be a blessing.
"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."
Blessings on your week my friends!

The head shaving party was a success and a blast! Brett(my niece's beau) had his shaved the night before. Dennis went first and then I went last. It was alot of fun. Thank you for everyone coming out to support me. And for those that were with me in spirit as well.
I only cried 2x! The first time was after everyone stood in a circle and held hands and my sister said a prayer. The second was when my friend Michelle hugged me good bye. She went through exactly what I am going through a couple years ago. It is so comforting to know that there are others out there that have been there, done that and are survivors!
I did have an issue with sleeping last night. Of course I had 2 giant caffeinated pops yesterday. I have not had that much caffeine in a long time. Also, we have flannel sheets. My head was like velcro on the pillow case! I had to switch it out!
Looks like it will be a decent weekend. I need to go out and buy some short sleeved t-shirts. Since I have lost the weight, I don't have any that fit very well. That is OK, not complaining there.
Enjoy your weekend and many blessings and peace!

POWER

Prepare
Overcome
Win
Every
Round

To all my brothers and sisters going through chemo.....remember this!!!!!!!!

*Sugar Ray Leonard*

I feel the need to blog after I have heard some comments about my head shaving party. Not necessarily bad comments. But here is the thing. For those of you that cannot come out and watch me get my head shaved, I totally understand. I know you support me and love me. I have no problem with that at all. In fact, I applaud your honesty.

I also feel that people are so associating this with a "bad thing." I have cancer, I am not dying. I will lose my hair and life goes on. If I was doing this for charity, as so many folks do, would the attitude be different? I would imagine it would.

My sister has been involved with Relay for Life for many, many years. She was talking to the survivors tonight and many had horror stories about how they lost their hair. One woman woke up in the middle of the night with hair in her mouth! This is the one and only thing I can control through this whole process. And if this is the only thing, I am doing it.

So for those that cannot imagine why I am doing this so publicly, I don't really care what you think! I don't owe you any explanation really. I just wanted those that are close to me and feel that emotionally they cannot handle it, to know I love them and think nothing of it.

Today my heart is heavy. I just found out this morning that a friend of mine has invasive breast cancer. She found out Friday. She said the DR thought she would need both chemo and radiation. It is not that I feel sorry for her. She would kick my butt if I did. But having cancer, you can definitely say without a doubt you have 100 % empathy for them. It is just not something you want someone to go through. Especially when they need treatment. The good thing is, first and foremost, she has a great strong faith and knows our God is with her every step of the way. Through the good and the bad. He really is the perfect man! Think about it. When you get married you have vows you say to one another. He has fulfilled all of those vows since the day you were born.

She also has a huge fan base. And I mean HUGE! We all love you Jan! We will be with you hair or no hair Breast or no breast! I am serious! I always say it is about my health, not my hair!

So please lift Jan up in prayer as she begins a new journey in her life. One that will be amazing and one that will be hard.

Blessings!

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I was pretty much in my pajamas all weekend. I knew I had gotten a sinus infection. Called the DR today and got in. They gave me a nasal spray and anti biotic. I told them I had to feel fabulous by Thursday! Woke up feeling queasy today so I took a zofran. This seemed to help.
Aunt Ju-Ju King is going with Dennis today to take Claire to Riley to the ENT. I would have gone if it was closer, but since I am not feeling well, I thought it was best to stay home. Thanks Julie!
Getting geared up for the head shaving party Thursday night. I even bought some favors! My sister and hubby went to Hobby Lobby the other night and the cashier commented that someone was going to have a St Patrick's Day party. My sister told him, no, we are having a head shaving party. My sister has lymphoma and lime green is the color of awareness. He told her he wasn't expecting that! I know it is crazy! But I am waking up in the middle of the night thinking about losing my hair! I am anxious about it. I think this will be the better thing to do for me, for my peace of mind. Like I said before, I don't want to see or feel the clumps coming out, etc...
Hope to see you all there Thursday night!
Blessings