I was thinking the other day. Something that caught me and has stuck with me. So many people approach me and tell me I am brave. What exactly does that mean? Brave. Is it that they don't know what else to say? I am not brave. I don't even feel like I am any different than anyone else right now. Cancer or no cancer. I understand that not all people with cancer have a positive attitude and just as soon give up. Not everyone accepts their disease like others. I suppose if I was told I had no chance of surviving,I might even have a nasty attitude. I mean really, aren't we all brave?
Everyone experiences moments in their lives where they do what they have to do to survive. To make it day to day. My worst moments were in the hospital. I was getting so depressed. I even told my sister I felt defeated. I could not catch a break. Cancer and then this surgery. It was bad enough I had had 5 chemo treatments, so I was an exceptional case with the surgery and recovery as well! But I obviously survived and not because I was brave, because I had to.
I am also stumped at the word inspiration. Was I not an inspiration to people before I had cancer? This confuses me too.
all I am doing is the best I can and making the most of everyday and every minute. You can't get these times back. I treasure time with my family. Watching Claire do things for the first time. Enjoying hearing her little voice and her laughter. These are not actions of a brave person or an inspirational person, just a person living life day to day.