The weekend was pretty good. I had more energy then I have after the last few treatments. I still was pretty nauseous and tired Sunday morning. I hated missing Easter mass. I did get to go over to mom and dads and spend time with the family. Was so good to see everyone! And the food was great of course!

I need to thank our friend Paul who shaved his head as a fundraiser for us. He did an awesome job and raised a good amount of money to pay for the endless stream of medical bills that wont stop coming in! Hmmm..... I really see how folks without insurance claim bankruptcy because of medical bills. He is an amazing friend. We are so blessed to have him in our lives! Thank you Paulie! And thank you too to all of those that contributed! Thank you so much!

This weekend I seemed to do some deep thinking. Scary huh? I guess sometimes those moments come to you and get you thinking about things you would not normally think about. There was something on TV this weekend about forgiveness. I started thinking about this topic. I feel I have always been quick to forgive because I know it does no one any good not to. Especially me!

A few years ago after I had Claire, a friend of mine stopped communicating with me and made the decision on her own that our friendship was not important to her. I guess this hurt me for the fact that she just did it and that was it. No explanation why. I often wondered if Claire had anything to do with it and if not having in her eyes a "perfect child" would make me less of a friend to her. Or if she just did not know how to react to a special needs child. Nonetheless, I forgave her for whatever it was that she felt made our relationship no longer important to her. Recently when I was diagnosed with cancer, for some reason I had a glimmer of hope that I would at least receive a card in the mail. Something letting me know that this journey was not in vein and that if I needed anything from her to let her know. This of course did not happen. I did receive a short email from her, but that was it.

I am sadden to think that my life is so full that I would never be able to accept another friend. I have made so many new friends just through this journey alone, my heart over flows with the thought of knowing they are on the same path, or have been on the same path and understand.

No one will ever really completely understand what I am going through. With all my support and all my friends and family, realistically, it is me and cancer. I have to be the strong one and I have to make the right choices to fight this and to know that I will win! It is very emotional for me today to think about what Jesus went through for us. I keep that in my heart every time I think of how hard I have to fight. If Jesus did it so can I!
If you have made it this far you are brave! Sorry to have rambled on so much!
Enjoy the week with many blessings!