Today I hit a wall. All the sudden all these emotions took over. Yesterday we had the funeral for Missy. I think I am still in shock that she is gone. Why does our society rush to say good bye so quickly? Your loved one dies and within days they are all ready buried in the ground. I know you can't put a time line on grief. I had an AIDS client that when he died, they had a celebration of his life. His wife and daughter were there. He was African-American and I think there were 3 of us white folks at this celebration. They kept his casket open the whole time, while we sang songs and celebrated his life. I felt like then I really got to know him. When he got ill, and knew he was terminal, he moved up to WI to live with his mom. I would go over to their home every week and his mom would try to feed me. They were always so kind and generous. They didn't have much, but what they had, they wanted to share. It is hard to know if you are leading the life that God intended sometimes. How does one know? I feel like I have given of my time to those in need, but what if it has not been enough? I am one who has a hard time asking for help. I like to do things on my own. I know when I start treatment, this will have to slow down. I think the "not knowing" is starting to get to me. I just want to know what is going on and get things going. It is emotionally draining. On a very happy side note, we welcomed Connor James Gerth into our family yesterday. He is awesome and so handsome! I could not wait to get my hands on him! I even stepped up to the plate and changed his diaper. I was alittle risky though, I will need to learn how to change a boys diaper if you know what I mean! Ha!
The sun is out and this is good. I am going to meet some friends for lunch. I am going to drive for the first time in 3 weeks...stay off the roads! ha!
Blessings on your day!