Enjoying the weather and thinking about our neighbor Barb. She just had a mascetomy. Last time we spoke she was going to try and have a double one. They weren't sure if Medicare would pay for both. She thought if they could prove that breast cancer ran in the family, (her daughter had it 10 years ago) they would. I don't want to go visit or bother her right now because I know she needs the rest. Maybe this weekend I will drop something off for them. It just really upsets me that she has to go through all of this. And I know I can't save the world from cancer, but having gone through it all, it is just upsetting. I remember sitting with my sister in law Beth in our living room. I started crying and just kept saying, " I am scared. I am so scared." Boy did I have good reason to be! Ha!
Cancer has changed me for the rest of my life. Mostly good, some probably bad. I think I am alittle more cynical than I used to be. I question anything a doctor tells me to be on the safe side.
It is funny how so many people remember their diagnosis date. It took then so long to diagnose me that all I know is the surgeon called and Claire and I were home alone. I do know I began chemo on Feb. 25th and ended on Aug. 31st.
It used to drive me absolutely nuts when people told me I was brave. Now, being done with chemo and looking back. I was brave. We are all brave that are battling this horrible disease.
Enjoy the week and don't eat too many apple dumplings! yum!
Blessings!

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. We had a good weekend away. We got to the hotel alittle later than we wanted to, but that was OK. We weren't really in any hurry to get there. The rest of the group was heading out to dinner when we got there. We decided to just stay there and eat in the hotel restaurant.
Saturday a.m. I got up and ventured out. I found a Marshall's dept store. I was in heaven. The best part of it, I could get into a size 10! I tried to go back and rest, but didn't nap for long. I had rented some DVD's to watch. I tried to watch "he's just not that into you." I thought it was boring, so I put in "confessions of a shop-a-holic." Now that was a good movie! Saturday night we had planned to go to Carlucci's. It is one of my favorite Italian restaurants. But they were closed for a private party. I chose another restaurant and it was not very good. One woman we were with could not even eat her dinner. She thought her ravioli was spoiled. We decided not to call this my birthday dinner! Sunday on the way home we did meet some friends for brunch. It was so good. We sat for over 2 hours chatting. They offered to have us stay with them anytime we want to come up and go shopping, etc... They are both from Chicago and know their way around town. Thinking may have to plan a holiday shopping weekend.
Looking forward to Oktoberfest this weekend. Everyone enjoy their week!
Blessings!

Today is my birthday and definitely a day of reflection. But I am going to rest! I have been sick the last few days. I am having sinus and allergies issues. Claire is at mom and dads today so that I can get in a good day of rest. Thank you mom and dad.
I feel like Charlie Brown. I think if I could catch a break I wouldn't know what to do. I am so used to things not going my way, that I have just gotten used to this! Ha!
Thank you to everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes. I truly love you all and appreciate all of you.
Blessings!

The weekend was good. Saturday we went to the International Dinner at St Ambrose. There was so much food and I left there stuffed! My favorite, believe it or not, was the egg rolls and fried rice our Vietnamese friends made. When they first came to the United States, we spent alot of time with them. Grandma used to make the best garlic chicken! The fried rice was good because it was not greasy like you get in the restaurant.
Sunday Dennis stayed home with Claire. She hadn't been feeling the best and we thought it was best to keep her home. Sunday we had our family get together. Dennis and I wanted to thank the family for helping us so much this year. It was a good time despite the bad weather.
Today I took Claire to the doctors office. He said she has a lower respiratory infection. We have to give her an antibiotic, a decongestant and breathing treatments. He said to keep her home from school this week. Because of the Down syndrome, her immune system is compromised and her nasal passages are smaller, making it hard for her to breathe. She is a trooper though and is really her silly self. We slept in the recliner last night and this afternoon. We need to elevate her mattress for her.
Dennis let me open my birthday present early and it was a SNUGGIE! I love it! I used it last night and actually got too warm sleeping in the recliner!
I hope Claire feels better by the weekend. Dennis and I are going to Chicago for one of his board meetings. Claire is spending the weekend with Beth and Mark.
Blessings on your week!

I went yesterday to get my potassium levels checked and they were still pretty low. The nurse called today and I have to increase my one pill to two pills a day. I will then go back in two weeks and have it checked again. Ugh! But that is OK. I will do this.
I am feeling more energetic every day. Still really tired most of the time. I am slowly trying to get the house cleaned for Sunday. We are having family over to thank them for all their help during this journey. Will be good to get everyone together.
Can you believe that I am actually thinking about going to Wal-Mart tomorrow morning? Ugh! I have not been since April. Sure wish we had a Target in town.
Enjoy the rest of your week!
Blessings!

Wow! What a wonderful day to attend Trey Hohnstrieter's fundraiser. The weather was absolutely wonderful! Claire had a fun time too. Cousin Katie took her in the bouncey house and she loved it. We also knew that there would be pony rides, but much to our surprise, it was Ginger, the horse that Claire rides every week at Reins to Recovery. Calli the director and Judy's sister(the host) Pam ( who volunteers at R to R) was there. Needless to say, Claire rode Ginger several times! She never wanted to get off. She also has fun on this small plastic play station with a ladder and slide. She wasn't that keen on the slide, but had fun on the ladder going up and down. I commented to Dennis that we were going to have a back yard full play toys next summer weren't we.
It was just really a blessing to be surrounded by survivors too. My good friend Michelle was there. It was so good to talk to her about how she felt after chemo. I told her it is hard. I still don't have my energy and I feel lazy so often. But I have also learned what is most important too. This was a stretch for me. I was always up and going and doing something and kept my house tidy. Not so much anymore. I am sure it will come back though. Give me a good 6 months!
Please lift those up in prayers who are dealing with this horrible disease called cancer.
Blessings to everyone!

I had a great lunch with my friend Janet. We went out to Batar and they were open! I love their chicken salad/fruit plate. We both said we could have a banana anytime we want, but cut up on a plate just tastes so good! I told Janet I used to be able to eat the whole plate. I did eat my chicken salad, crackers, banana, and most of my apple. I don't really care for their pasta salad. I should just order it without it next time. I hate to see it wasted.

We have a busy weekend. Tomorrow we have a fundraiser for Trey Hohnstrieter. There is a woman in town running a marathon in honor of him for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. It is a hog roast. There are going to be things for the kids and pony rides. Do you think Claire will squall when she sees the ponies! Oh ya! She loves riding her horses.

Sunday we have a birthday open house and then possibly going to the fish fry out at Trinity Lutheran in Vallonia. Mike and the T.O.G. band are playing. We went out there last year and it is really nice. Not sure about the fried fish. I am just not into fried seafood. I love it grilled, but not fried. It is just too greasy most the time.

Well, I found out last week that Claire is not receiving her physical therapy like it is written in her IEP. She is suppose to receive it 2x a week and is only getting it 1x. I am going to write a letter to the director of Special Ed and voice my concern. I am also sending a communications notebook to school with Claire. This way the therapist can document when and what they have done with Claire. This will also better help us know what to help Claire with at home.

Enjoy the weekend!

Blessings to all of you!

I had my follow up visit with Dr Le. What would have been my last visit more than likely has turned into a second step process. I do indeed have a hernia. It is nothing to be concerned about. He does not want to go in right now until I am feeling physically stronger and fix it. He did say it is something he feels he can do lapriscopically. I told him of my fear of going under again and he totally understood. I have an appt with him near the end of November. I am hoping by December I feel up to having it done. I was reminded again that between my chemotherapy and my surgery, it could be months before I feel more energetic. This is disheartening to me because it has been a looooonnnnnggggg year! I am ready to get back into the swing of things! Apparently because in the hospital I was considered malnutritioned. Can you believe they used that word for me! I will never hear that again until I am 90 I am sure. Plus I was fighting an infection, my healing process was not the norm, thus, "hello hernia!"
I did talk to Dr Towriss' nurse about my Lexapro I was on. It is expensive even with our insurance and I told her I had quit taking it. She came out with 2 months worth of samples. God love her! Thank you Melanie! Maybe now I won't be as emotional with everything! Ya right!
I hope everyone has a good week.
Blessings!

The last couple of days have been uneventful. Tonight I was able to cut my potassium pill in half and take it. We will see if my stomach tolerates it or not.
I was able to eat almost an entire 7 oz steak, some mashed potatoes, and some squash. See, this is where trouble comes in. Once I start to really get my appetite back, I need to watch what I eat. I don't want to beg my friends to give me my clothes back! ha! Indian giver!
Well, I got upsetting news tonight. Dennis came in and told me that our neighbor was just DX with breast cancer. I started crying of course because I cannot stand for anyone to have to go through what I did. And even though every one's journey is different, cancer still sucks and cancer still messes with you emotionally and psychically. No doubt about it. This disease just really pisses me off. So please lift up a prayer for her. She went through all this when her daughter had breast cancer 10 years ago. And she is a survivor. But as we all know, one can have the same cancer and have different treatment plans...ya Beth Anne! Ha!
Enjoy the weekend!
Blessings

Having a really down day. I have decided that there is more emotional crap to deal with after chemo then during chemo. I would say I just want my life back to how it was before all of this happened, but I know that is not possible. I will never be the same.
Dr Towriss' office called and are concerned about my potassium levels. Very low. I told the nurse that I tried the pills and the liquid and both upset my stomach. I had to call the cancer center to let them know that Dr T wanted to make sure this was being managed somehow and checked. I told Lyndie and Melanie both that now that chemo is over with, I will try to take the pills. My Rx is for 2x a day, but Melanie said Dr T was going easy on me and letting me take it just 1x a day. I go back to the center in 2 weeks and they are going to take blood to check the levels.
I noticed this weekend when I was doing so much coughing that there is a little bulge in my belly...hmmm... Beth Anne and I figured out I probably have a hernia! Just what I need huh? I go in to Dr Le on Tuesday and I will show him. Can you believe it? When am I going to catch a break? I am terrified to go under anesthesia again. Look what happened last time? I don't want to wake up on a ventilator again!
This is one of those days that I question my reason for being here. What is my purpose? I feel like this year I have let my body down. How much more can it take? I guess I dig so deep I forget to look at Claire and know that she is the reason. I forget to look at Dennis and know that he is the reason. Not that they need me, but I know they want me in their lives and I want to be in their lives. I want to be present. I want to be able to go out into the sunshine without feeling so flushed all of the time. I want I want I want.... I want to not cry all of the time. I know that folks thought that since my last day of chemo was Monday that it was over, it has just begun.
Please lift up prayers for those that don't have the opportunity to blog and bitch about their lives like I am doing. Believe you me, I know how blessed I am to even be alive!
Please pray for Angie Robinson's family. Please pray for my friend Mick who is at home just trying to stay comfortable. Thank you for these prayers.
Blessings.

I just wanted everyone to continue reading my blog. I am sure I will be posting at least once a week. Or I will try to. This journey is not over, it has just begun!