Today was bittersweet. I attended a funeral for my ex husband's grandmother. Yes, I was married before. She was 87 and had been in failing health for the last year. She was one of the sweetest, funniest, yet could be annoying ,women I had ever met. She always had a smile on her face and was always positive no matter what was going on with her. They read that poem, "the dash." I love this poem. I had heard it before. It was so good to see my ex in laws too and to spend alittle bit of time with them despite the circumstances.
It is so hard to explain to people when they ask if everything is "OK" now, exactly how you feel. Will my life ever be OK after cancer. I don't know. I will spend every month getting my port flushed, every 3 months visiting my oncologist and every 6 months getting a scan. What is "ok?" I don't get too upset with people because really, most of them just don't get it. They just don't understand or do they know what it is like "after cancer." I don't know if there is really any "after cancer." I said once before that I have become more cynical and I have. This does not mean I am not eternally grateful for my health and all the blessings I have in my life, I just question people more and I guess I am probably alittle more outspoken than I was before.
I am a couple weeks away from my lifting restriction and I will be so happy when that is up. I got to quit wearing my binder Friday. The Velcro was wearing! It wouldn't stay together! I cannot say enough good things about Dr Le. He has been one of the many blessings that came into my life despite the cancer.
Looks like the weather is slowly getting warmer!
Enjoy the week and all it's blessings!