This was a crazy and exhausting week. Claire was out of school all week except for today. She doesn't have school on Mondays anyway, but T and W they were out of school and then T was a 2 hour delay, but she had a Riley appt.

Monday night our LLS Support group met and it was great. We had a dietitian intern speak to our group and then we broke into 2 groups. The Leukemia group was lead by Beth Anne and I took the Lymphoma group. I was amazed at how much people really opened up once they got into the smaller group.

All week I have been feeling down. Sometimes I just feel like I don't know what I am meant to do in this life. I know I have been called to serve. I try to do this through our support group and through helping other people who are going through a new diagnosis. But is this enough? I have to question this. There are so many things that have changed for me since I have had cancer.

I think back before I had cancer. I knew who I was. I sometimes feel so lost. I lived my life in a bubble for a year and to come out is so odd for me. It is like being in prison for a year and getting out. I now know what those people feel like. I sometimes feel myself not wanting to interact with people. Or I feel uncomfortable around them. I cant describe the feeling. I know people say that you cannot let cancer control you, but honestly, it does. And it did for me. It controlled my whole life for a year.

Tonight I went up to the funeral home. A classmate of mine's grandmother died. Earlier this month she told us that her aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mascetomy. I decided to send her a card just to let her know if she needed to talk or whatever. She was so nice when I met her. She told me what a wonderful person I was for doing that. I told her receiving cards from people you don't know is the best! It really made me feel good. I think then it made me realize that even though I went through hell for a year, it was well worth it, if I can share with other people what I went through and comfort them, it was worth it.

Looking forward to a day out tomorrow with my BFF.

Enjoy the weekend.

Blessings!