Well here I am again - and as most of you know, if I am making the blog entry that means that Mary is not available. Around 9:00 PM last night Mary had another one of her bouts with stomach pains, this one much more painful. Sissy came over and off the the ER, I stayed home with Claire who was already asleep for the night. Initial reaction was most likely an issue with Mary's appendix. After two CT scans last night she was admitted to the hospital. She has a mass about the size of a racquetball in her lower right abdomen that could be something with her appendix, a complication around her lower intestine from the chemo treatment, a piece of one of her lymph nodes being treated by the chemo that has become infected, etc. Her white blood cell count was also high, most likely meaning that somewhere in her body there is an infected area. She is being prepped for possible surgery tomorrow. She must cleanse her digestive track, can you say Super Ex-Lax. She has also been put on IV anti-biotic. They will check her blood count and symptoms tomorrow AM to determine if they need to do the surgery. If surgery is needed they will try to remove/determine the mass laproscopic. If necessary they will have to do a full incision. Surgery will definitely put a delay on the remainder of Mary's scheduled chemo treatments. On a positive note, the CT scan showed that the lymph nodes in question from February show a reduction in size, which should tell us that the chemo is having some effect on the bad tissues.

Please keep Mary in your thoughts for a quick recovery and resolution to this latest issue.

I went to the Look Good, Feel Better program last night at the Cancer Center. It is put on by the American Cancer Society. They give you tips on how to apply your make up and if you have a wig, they help you place that too. Out of the four women there, I was the only one who did not have a wig. I just can't seem to wrap the thought of wearing a wig around my little head...literally! The make-up is great that they give you. None of it is the same brand, but they gave us some Chanel, Bobbi Brown, Aveeda, Estee Lauder, Clinque. It is all donated to them as well. I am stashing some of mine away. When you are done with chemo you are suppose to throw out the make-up you wore during your treatment. So I will be wearing make-up everyday now! I would have a hard time parting with my Mary Kay! It was fun to see Molly and Jan again. I was the only one in the room who didn't have breast cancer. Odd woman out. I don't ever do anything normal it seems!

I actually was able to go to bed last night and get all my prayers in. Seems lately I have been falling asleep during my prayers. And believe me it is not the present company. This tells me I need to pray at a different time of day!

Why is it when we put our faith and trust in the Lord, that we still stress and worry over certain things? There is a situation in my life right now that I have to trust the Lord that he will get me through it, be the results good or bad, and I am still leery of what is going to happen. I am conflicted because that tells me that I do not trust him. Oi! So much to think about!

One of the women at this function last night was so cute! She was older and had just been married 4 months. I cannot, for the life of me, remember when she was diagnosed. But her husband told her he would love her without any teeth, without any breasts, and without any hair! I just thought that was touching, Especially being newlyweds. I know that I am so blessed to have Dennis who is there for me no matter what. He is also good at helping me shed some tears when I need to. It just means the world to me to have the support of my family and friends....so thank you!

Hoping for more sunshine this week! Sometimes I don't mind the rain and other times it really puts me in a blah mood!

Blessings this week!

I need to first thank the person who sent the anonymous gift in the mail. I wish you would have let us know who you were so we could send you a thank you. Hopefully you are reading this blog and know that we appreciate it and thank you so much! "No good deed goes unnoticed." Especially in our house! Thank you!
Weekend was usual weekend after chemo. Just really tired and slept alot. It was great to see the sun shine and know that it was so nice outside. Unfortunately I am not allowed in the sun or I will burn. I am allowed in the heat if I am under shade. Not that I sunbathed anyway, but it is going to be hard with Claire this summer to not be outside in the sun as much.
Sunday was a nice day. We drove over to my brother's house in Bloomington and visited with my oldest nephew Aaron and his wife Lauren. They were in town from Brooklyn for a long weekend. It was a nice getaway. I need to do more of those. Even though Claire whined and cried the entire ride over! Whew! Why do kids fight sleep and adults cannot get enough of it?
Tomorrow night I am going to the cancer center where ACS is sponsoring a "Look Good, Feel Better" session. They help you with your make up and I believe taking care of your wigs, etc... I am fortunate I have not lost my color at all. I am sure this is do to the Nuelasta shot I get after all my treatments. It should be fun. Molly will be there and hopefully Jan got signed up to go too.
Blessings on your week and enjoy the wonderful weather!

I talked to the surgeon's nurse today. She suggested I take Metamucil daily and to really bulk up on the fiber. This makes me think my diet needs a total overhaul. I got online to get some fibrous ideas! I know I get enough protein. I still need to add that too. Even DR O said it is hard to stay away from all the fatty foods because you need some of them. If this does not help, I have to call her back. A very frustrating situation, but I will get through it!
I wanted to thank my brother Tony too for offering his Wednesday morning mass's up for me. This means alot to me! Thank you!
Peace

I had a great time at Basket Bingo last night. Thank you Beth Anne, Michelle and Michelle. ( Is that like Daryl, Daryl, and my other brother Daryl? Ha! BA was the big winner of the evening. She bingoed 2x and only had a competitor once. She ended up with DQ coupons and a cute Vera Bradley purse. I on the other hand, got my name drawn at the end to pick up a left over door prize. Can't complain, I got a cute little candle with a holder.
Treatment #5 over with-woo-hoo! (sigh) I really have come to dread Tuesdays before my treatments because I know what is to come. Need to stop that!
The "chemo lounge" was hopping today. My friend Jan started her treatments. I got to meet her wonderful mom and sister. They are such a good form of support for her. It is so important during this time to have that. Anytime you have any life threatening illness, you need that support and prayers! They go hand in hand.
Talked to Dr O about the gall gas. She asked if I wanted to contact a surgeon in Seymour and told her I would still stick with my surgeon in Indy. She is the one that set it off and I need to let her know I continue to have issues. I don't blame Dr O for not wanting to deal with it. It really is not her business really. So I will make that call tomorrow.
Ms Claire was up all night coughing. This meant daddy was up all night and then I took over late morning shift. Beth got her into the DR and she has a cold and upper respiratory issues. Never a dull moment is for sure!
My oldest nephew and his wife that live in NYC are going to be in town this weekend(in Bloomington) Hopefully by Sunday I can muster up some energy to go to the BBQ and see them!
Please pray I can get enough rest for this!
Enjoy the week with it's many blessings!

Yes, Claire's IEP went well. I feel the school is giving her the amount of therapies she needs. She really accomplished all her goals except her PT of course. Just have to find a way to give her that confidence to walk on her own. By then she will be running!
She will be going to "extended school" this summer for 5 weeks. I was hoping it was longer, but we will take 5 weeks! She will get her therapies then.
It is funny because she behaves so well as school. She does not throw things or hit. At home she does both! You can tell she is well taken care of at school and that makes mommy and daddy very happy. That being said, she is a pleaser and someone who really gets her feelings hurt easily so she is always aware of when someone is not happy and tries to comfort them. She has cuddled with me many a times when I needed it. Not enough of course! She is too independent for too much of that!
Treatment #5 is Wednesday and not looking forward to that. I am so over all of this. I am sorry I keep saying that, but I am. Going to basket bingo tomorrow night to support the sorority that has supported me so generously. Plus it is a night out and lots of fun!
Blessings!

The weekend was OK. Friday night was the best. Dennis and I went down to Jeeves and Co for dinner. Although this is not a place to go to avoid folks from Seymour. There were several there for dinner as well. It was nice to get alone/adult time with my husband.
Saturday Beth Anne and I went out to breakfast which was nice. We are trying to figure out how and when to start our Leukemia/Lymphoma support group here in town. There isn't one and we feel the need for one. We went out to Justin's 23rd birthday party. He was very patient as he sat next to his gifts waiting to open them. He is a real gem!
Saturday afternoon my gall gas came on! Talk about pain! It was the same pain I experienced the week after my surgery that sent me to the ER. I was doubled up in pain for 5 hours Saturday night! It finally subsided, but I had a hint of it left on Sunday. I am so over this too! I am talking to Dr O Wednesday before chemo and see if there isn't something I can take.
Sunday we went to mass and came home and took naps. Kinda a dreary nap day, so that was nice.
Tomorrow Dennis and I have Claire's IEP (Individual Education Plan) case conference for next fall. Will be anxious to see how she is doing and what they feel she needs. Of course I have my agenda too.
Please lift a prayer up for my friend Jan. She has breast cancer and goes to see Dr O tomorrow to get a game plan together as far as treatment goes.
I hope everyone enjoys their week!
Blessings!
P.S. Sorry Padre Moriarity for the stinky dead animal under your church! This is why the church needs scented candles! Ha!

"Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself, how I praise you!"
Psalm 63:3

Encouraging Word of the day:
"Give all your worries to God, for he cares about what happens to you."
1 Peter 5:7

This week has been pretty good. Have had some more stomach issues, so I have been "fasting" ha! Looking forward to busy weekend. Friday night I am having a date with my husband. Looking forward to that and a good meal! Saturday we have a birthday party to attend. This is for a young man with Ds who is turning 23. This couple that has custody of him surely have a place in heaven already! I may have mentioned this before. This couple their first baby last May. At the same time, this man's father was dying. His stepbrother who has Ds was living with their father who was dying. Sean and Gretchen took Justin in to their home and hearts with no questions asked. Justin as adjusted well and loves his family. I just think it is so awesome that God has a way of showing his love through people such as this couple. Who knows where Justin would be today without them. Ok, ok, I am partial because he has Ds! But to take any child or adult with SN in and not even blink an eye says alot for their love and character.

Thank you Beth Anne for giving me a morning in Columbus by myself. I don't seem to have as much get up and go as I used to. A few stores and I am ready to go! Thank you Connie Gerth for the gift you sent as well. We really appreciated it.

Getting ready to go for my annual exam to the DR today. Ugh! So tired of scans, exams, and the likes of it all! We took Claire Monday for her follow up for her tubes and all looked good. I even got to look inside her ears and see the tubes. And nothing against Riley, I love them and we have never had anything but good from them, but I am sick of driving 2 hours on the road and spending maybe 20 minutes seeing the Dr! It is crazy I tell ya!
Blesings on your week and stay dry!

The weekend was pretty good. I had more energy then I have after the last few treatments. I still was pretty nauseous and tired Sunday morning. I hated missing Easter mass. I did get to go over to mom and dads and spend time with the family. Was so good to see everyone! And the food was great of course!

I need to thank our friend Paul who shaved his head as a fundraiser for us. He did an awesome job and raised a good amount of money to pay for the endless stream of medical bills that wont stop coming in! Hmmm..... I really see how folks without insurance claim bankruptcy because of medical bills. He is an amazing friend. We are so blessed to have him in our lives! Thank you Paulie! And thank you too to all of those that contributed! Thank you so much!

This weekend I seemed to do some deep thinking. Scary huh? I guess sometimes those moments come to you and get you thinking about things you would not normally think about. There was something on TV this weekend about forgiveness. I started thinking about this topic. I feel I have always been quick to forgive because I know it does no one any good not to. Especially me!

A few years ago after I had Claire, a friend of mine stopped communicating with me and made the decision on her own that our friendship was not important to her. I guess this hurt me for the fact that she just did it and that was it. No explanation why. I often wondered if Claire had anything to do with it and if not having in her eyes a "perfect child" would make me less of a friend to her. Or if she just did not know how to react to a special needs child. Nonetheless, I forgave her for whatever it was that she felt made our relationship no longer important to her. Recently when I was diagnosed with cancer, for some reason I had a glimmer of hope that I would at least receive a card in the mail. Something letting me know that this journey was not in vein and that if I needed anything from her to let her know. This of course did not happen. I did receive a short email from her, but that was it.

I am sadden to think that my life is so full that I would never be able to accept another friend. I have made so many new friends just through this journey alone, my heart over flows with the thought of knowing they are on the same path, or have been on the same path and understand.

No one will ever really completely understand what I am going through. With all my support and all my friends and family, realistically, it is me and cancer. I have to be the strong one and I have to make the right choices to fight this and to know that I will win! It is very emotional for me today to think about what Jesus went through for us. I keep that in my heart every time I think of how hard I have to fight. If Jesus did it so can I!
If you have made it this far you are brave! Sorry to have rambled on so much!
Enjoy the week with many blessings!

Thank you Becky and Linda for an enjoyable lunch at the Kensington Tea Room yesterday, and for the soap too! I was thinking Becky, did she charge you for your carrot cake! Hmmm...or did you steal it? Ha! Lunch was very good and I look forward to doing it again.
Today I had treatment #4. Things went well and on time. I went straight to the chemo lounge and didn't have to see Dr O. This does save time. I see her every other treatment now. Go back tomorrow to get my Nuelasta shot. Weird thing, I was standing outside talking to my sister and all of the sudden my face felt like it was on fire!! I went back in and they gave me some Benadryl. They said it was a reaction to the steroid. I just didn't want to get home and my face be swollen with a 3 year old! So mom and dad fed Claire lunch and Beth went and got her for the rest of the afternoon. I was out for 3 hours cold! Woke up and had to figure out where I was and where Claire was! Whew! That was the first time I took Benadryl, but now I know how people say it makes you feel.
Dennis is with Claire at her horse back riding lesson tonight. I just did not have the energy to go. I am losing my appetite early this round. Nothing sounds good. I hate that because I try and make myself eat just for the energy.
So we will see what the rest of the weekend brings. I am going to try and get enough rest to enjoy an Easter meal.
Please take the time to reflect on this time of year and think about what Jesus went through for us. It is ironic I started chemo on Ash Wednesday and am having a rough weekend ahead for Easter. I will definitely think of what Jesus did for us and not complain!
Blessings!

I forgot to blog for those that have been asking. No, I have not completely lost all my hair yet. It is still as short as it can get. A couple weeks ago after I got out of the shower it was patchy. So even though it is short, it is still patchy. Ideally I wanted to straight razor it all off. Not allowed. In case there is a cut and it gets infected, I would be in trouble!

Hope the weekend was good for everyone. Mine was pretty good. Friday I had a rough day, My gall gas was back and acting up, I cannot wait until after chemo to be able to get my gall bladder out! It was one of those days where it was nice just not having to leave the house.
Saturday I went to Batar to lunch with my friend Janet and then Columbus shopping. I was wore out, but it was good to get out and go.
Sunday we went to church and came home and took long naps! I LOVE naps! They are UNDER rated!
I want to give a shout out and thanks to whoever is spoiling my husband at Cortland diner. He deserves it! Thank you!
Thank you again for all the cards I get daily. Thank you too to the St Joe's Rosary Society. Even though we are no longer members out there, that church and my faith family out there continues to send cards monthly along with their prayers. It means so much to us.
Wednesday I go for treatment #4. Ugh! That is all I can say about that!
Have a blessed week!